Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I was at some outdoor party or something, there was this colleague of mine- Reem- who I am no longer in touch with. I was asking her why she was at that party when she should be at her usual volleyball practices and she said she had quit the team. Suddenly, the sky turned pinkish/red and everyone started pointing up, smiling, rejoicing and saying "it is a sign, baby prophet is passing over us and this white line in the sky is his pathway, just like God said he would one day". I looked up and there was a white line, and there was a carriage like thing -I'm not sure- and horses, white horses, and stars and something glittery and it just looked so pretty. I started praising God, and then, although I knew it was a miracle, something was still trying to dissuade me. I no longer wanted to go to the party, I wanted to go home only to realize that I am stuck. I had no car and it was rush hour, if I were to take a cab it would take me min one hour to get home, that is when I woke up.
I think it is a sign because ever since then and I have had this serene, calm feeling that I haven't had for a long time now. It is like I started fresh, new... like I should no longer worry about the past and concentrate on the future.... like i have been reborn.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
- Robert McCloskey
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
- Michel de Montaigne
All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
- James Thurber
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
- Henry Adams
This is the way of peace: "Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love." - Peace Pilgrim
Is repetitive action virtuous action? If behaviour and conduct are merely repetitive processes then all human relationships actually cease. If I behave mechanically every day, - repeating a certain code of conduct which I have learnt, which I find profitable, or which is pleasant, repeating that over and over again, - my relationship with you ceases, completely - I have become a machine.
- J. Krishnamurti
What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.
- Margot Asquith
Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
- Philip K. Dick
...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
All the lessons of history in four sentences:
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad with power.
The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small.
The bee fertilizes the flower it robs.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
- Charles A. Beard
- got a job, loved the job, disliked the boss, didn't get along with the boss and now, je suis unemployed once again.
- My bday was good. I spent it at the spa with my friend Nan, then we went to the beach and got drunk. Lastly, we went out for a late lunch with Rana. It was nice.
- umm... I'm 23 now??
That is it... oh, well, Montreal peeeps will be here soon, so YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
* There are more species of poisonous plants in the world than nonpoisonous
* Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
- Thomas Szasz
Monday, June 18, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
This is too depressing... too shameful...
Friday, June 8, 2007
* Life here is getting to me. I need friends, I need a life, I need something more than what it is at the moment. Sometimes I even feel as though I need oxygen... Having all this free time to think about life, how it went and where it is heading is not going great with me either. It is driving me MAD.
* Still unemplyed but its mostly because I cant be bothered to actively look for a job. I sometimes feel I've become too weak to handle the real world. This year has not been kind to me so far and I just do not want to give it any chances to screw with me anymore.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
10 countries voted for
0 countries voted against
5 countries abstained -Qatar included.
Makes you think, eh?
I will probably philosophize and dissect this later on, I am just too brain dead for now. For all those people who have been waiting for this voting outcome, congrats, for those of you who have lost, well, c'est la vie...
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Yet, here we are, struggling, fighting, refusing, objecting against what has happened to us.
We will win eventually, we shall return one day.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
If you would like to read the details of the event, click here
Today is my sisters' b-day, so happy bday sis. Or, as here son would say "happy booboo". All the best, love you loads =)
A few days ago I went into Paris Gallery, it is a gallery that sells perfumes, make-up and designer accessorize. What hit me was the power of smell to bring back so many memories. Just smelling different perfumes took me back to so many different times in life, different places and different people. It is funny how we associate moments with smell...
I am going back to Montreal for graduation in June. I really am ecstatic about that. I can not wait. I think that June can not come too soon. Montreal, get ready, "I be coming soon!"
Turns out, I am allergic to the sun, humidity and heat of this country. Can you believe it? I was born and raised here for 17 years, I leave for 4.5 years, come back and find out that my skin can not handle it anymore. I feel like such a freak! I am banned from direct sunlight for at least another 2 weeks, banned from staying in the sun too long, and have to apply 3 different kinds of lotions and ointments. Worse part? It is not even proper summer here yet. Fun times lie ahead. Fun.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
more from tarot.com »
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
My dad kicks-ass!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Sad... very, very sad.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The question is: Why? What gives any man, woman or teenager a right to walk into a place of education, hold up a gun, and shoot someone? More importantly, what drives that person to do it? What anger, grief, hostility, shattered dreams and hope lies within them?
Another thought that crossed my mind is, who are the real victims here? Are they only the students/teachers/staff/visitors at the colleges and schools, or are they the shooters themselves? Who should we blame? The media, society, parents, teachers, fellow students, movies, games, reality?
One last thought I had is that even on the land that prises itself on being democratic and free, even on a land that prises itself for being acceptable of all societies, this savage act of killing takes place. What is sad is that people there do not realize that this happens in countries at war all the time. it happens in Palestine, Darfur, Uganda, Afghanistan, Iraq... and the list could go on for so much longer. Is it not time for the world to decide that saving younger generations is more important than some silly power struggle? Is it not time to stop manufacturing and selling weapons. Is it not about time to set a good example for this generation, the next one and all the others to come?
Saturday, April 21, 2007
2) I can't shake "it" off... I can't move on, I can't leave it behind. I am stuck.
3) I just want this nightmare to end... I am going mad... mad I tell you!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
"This is familiar territory, yet today you might be inclined to push through the issues once and for all, so you don't have to be here again next year. You could have love in a form that you don't want or you want love in a form that you cannot get. Either way, the dissatisfaction will ease by Friday without any action on your part."
What about life in general? What about the future? What about the past and the present???
Stupid horoscope people...
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Another thing I do not get is why, after ALL the warnings we get concerning global warming, people do not listen and still think it is a joke. It is going to get worse. Brace yourselves. Check it out here.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Is where i search for the light,
Pick up my pen and start to write,
I struggle a fight,
Dark forces in the clear moonlight without fear,
I can't get no sleep.
I used to worry,
Thought i was going mad in a hurry,
Getting stressed, making excess
Mess in darkness. no electricity,
Something's all over me, greasy.
Insomnia please release me,
And let me dream of making mad love to my girl on the heath,
Tearing off tights with my teeth.
But there's no release, no peace,
I toss and turn without cease.
Like a curse,
I open my eyes and rise like yeast.
A couple of weeks since i last slept.
Kept taking sleepers,
But now i keep myself pepped
The night, i write by candle light,
I find in sight
So when it's black
Take an original tack
Keep the beast in my nature under ceaseless attack.
I gets no sleep.
I can't get no sleep.
** you could check out the video on youtube here
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
I also read something about changing blood types to O so that everyone is a universal donor. Amaaaazing.
Monday, April 2, 2007
I just watched episodes 1-17 of season 3 of Grey's Anatomy. Very dramatic, wonder what else they have in order for them to create a season 4. Seems to me that anything that could ever happen, has already happened. Unless, of course, the chief turns gay or something because his wife doesn't want him, his mistress died, and the "ladies" don't look his way. Something to look forward to knowing, I guess.
I went to a poetry reading by Mahmoud Darwish tonight. It wasn't as good as I expected it to be. He also presented himself as someone who is full of it, so I did not like him. Too bad, he has great poems.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
* Three men and a baby
* Analyze This
* Kiss of the Dragon
* Ghost Rider
* Because I said so
* You got served
* Someone Like you
* Harry Potter (all)
* South Park
* You've got mail
* 2 Weeks notice (Anyone has it? I cant find it, I had to download it)
* and about 15 other movies that I do not remember their names.
I have also been watching Ugly betty and some grey's anatomy... um... what else? Oh yeah! Cold case and CSI... plenty of both. also friends, how i met your mother, according to Jim, scrubs...
yup, empty life, I have too much time on my hands and I can not be bothered to actually put it to good use.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Something in your life is about to change for the better, but you have to participate in the process. You can unconsciously hold on to the way things were, for what you know seems less frightening than what you don't know. Ultimately, Scorpio is the sign of transformation. You have the power, so don't hold back; let the magic happen.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
je ne veus pas déjeuner (i dont want to have lunch)
je veux seulement l'oublier (I just want to forget )
et puis je fume (then..I smoke)
Ruru was right, I did like the song...
Oh,l and my translation could be right, or wrong... it is what i got out of it..
My sister found it funny... and naturally, she would, since its her that is causing the whole towel dilemma here.
Oh, and today, as i was driving to the gym, i hear a funny sound coming from my car, so I do a U-turn, take a right and drive into a parking lot. all this time i am thinking "does my car have a life of its own? I feel as though it is going without me and I have no control over it". So, anyways, I park the car, step out, walk to the right, look down and what do I find? My tire has been punctured!!!!! to make things worse, I was in the only area that does not have cabs frequently bothering you....
What a wonderful life!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
Sunday night I thought he was acting weird We had made plans to meet at a restaurant to have dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment . Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing ." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry . On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V.; he seemed distant and absent . Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he got up and went to sleep on the sofa ..... I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep . started crying and cried until I too fell asleep . I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else My life is a disaster
Today, we lost the football match
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Friday, March 2, 2007
What is wrong with people in this part of the world?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
a) I am not there
b) I don't even have a car
c) I do not know anyone in Cote Des Neiges, so what would I be doing there?
Anyways, I called RBC credit card people, and I must say, I was very impressed with them. They stopped my card directly, treated me like a victim, not someone under suspicion, and even offered to send me my new card ALL the way here.
Me like this service. If only everyone treats everyone else that way...
Oh, btw, point of my post is this: BE CAREFUL with your credit cards. DO NOT use them online, and be careful overall.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
So, it has been a month since I last saw my friends, I miss them. All of them. Even the ones that I did not hang out with very often, even the ones I lost touch with... All of them. My life feels so empty right now.
=( =( =(
Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Ruru left!!!! Me incredibly sad, yet happy for her. She would have rotted here, just like I am. Plus, she promised to come back in 6 months.. 6 months people!!!!!
Me will miss her.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
more from tarot.com »
This is seriously freaking me out.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
What will happen when Ru leaves? I do not know, I am sure it will suck, but at least I'll have her return to look forward to. So, here is to that!
Monday, February 5, 2007
The UN still has not got ten back to me, which is really pissing me off at the moment. My sister says it is normal, but I do not know... it is still getting to me.
i went to the F1 show a few days ago, it was fun. I'll upload the pics and videos sometime soon.
I miss everyone back in Montreal... it is so boring here. C'est la vie...
Friday, February 2, 2007
Thursday, February 1, 2007
... when you miss someone so much, you just can not get them off your mind?
... when you realize that this is all there is, and there is nothing you could do about it?
... when you realize there is no escape from it all afterall?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I miss everyone back there... I miss being able to wake up at 3 am, or not sleep whichever, and be able to call someone. I also miss someone calling me at that time. I get bored this time of night... it is a very lonely time. Thank God for blogger, right?! It is 4:40 am here, making it the day I should have left initially.
My thoughts are all jumbled, I do not know what I want to blog about exactly. Should I write about missing my friends? The M&M's that I will probably never enjoy eating again? Missing my bed and apartment? Missing "the Office"?
Naaaah... I think those are all given. I might as well just stop rambling now and blog again when I have a proper thought to discuss... I feel my thoughts are all over the place.
Miss you all so very much... You will always be in my heart.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I am disappointed that I did not get to spend much time with one of my Friends, Mar... like, OK, so he is moving, studying and working... I AM LEAVING!!!!! I did see him before i left, so tht is good, bas ya3ni...I need to vent to him about it to get it off my chest, so maybe I'll send him an email soon...
Back to my amazing friends, i am going to miss them like crazy. It just hit me that I will not see them tomorrow, or the day after.. or the day after that. However, they will always be a part of my heart and the memories i have of them will always be dear to me. Plus, technology makes it much easier to keep in touch nowadays, right? So it would take serious energy to lose touch with someone....
Love you all loads... you are the best. I will miss you all like crazy, but I will hold on to the hope that i will see you again one day.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Pick me up and dust me off
If I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk
If I need some of your love again
Give me more than I can stand
When my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again
Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will live
With you and me bent
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just breaking the skin
Start bending me
It's never enough
'Til I feel all your pieces
Start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
Shouldn't be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Just touch me again
Hell, I'll go there again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Yeah, you're breaking me in
And this is how we will live
With you and me bent
They are going on strike from Jan. 29th till Jan 31st -the day I leave. They say on their website:
"We understand that some of our customers who are due to travel between January 29 and February 16 may wish to change their plans now. As a result, we have, from today, introduced a policy that enables customers to rebook flights for a different date. Customers should call British Airways if they wish to change their travel plans."
Seriously! Like I need to worry about yet ANOTHER thing...
Another thing, what is up with the lady that gabs away while you wait for the agent to pick up? i heard you the first 500 times, chances are, i know what you have to say by heart now, so SHUT UP!
so far, Jan 21st has proved a sucky day... and its only 5:20 pm.
Still no sleep, in case anyone is wondering. Hopefully, me will crash today...
** Update **
I am leaving in 5 days... on the 27th, not on the 31st anymore....
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Actually, I feel like I can't do so many things anymore... I am seriously drained. I no longer have the energy.
One side will make you larger; the other side will make you smaller.
- Lewis Carrol
"If you have been overly stressed recently by trying to resolve the conflict between your head and your heart, now the tensions will finally begin to dissipate. Oddly enough, no concrete action on your part is required. Something subtle is shifting on its own, giving you a glimpse of the smoother sailing ahead."
Basically, give in and go with the flow? Screw the flow, I say. Plus, I gave up and gave in a looong time ago. Not worth fighting for or against anything and everything anymore. Go with the flow it is then, I suppose. Time to seriously stop fighting the strong winds and tides and allow them to carry me wherever they please...
C will arrive tomorrow... can't wait... I miss her. Then I will have one more person i will have to say goodbye to.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
"H€åv€n£¥ ThïngÎ€ -> OMG 1 more day... says:
yes i did... y do we always want things to last forever?
Me: Ay-ya-ya-yaaaaaay says:
because it is easier to hold on to what you already are accustomed to"
* A conversation with my friend Rosie:
" Her: did you pack?
Me: not yet, it's haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!!! No one is understanding that!!!
Me: Rosie, it is not funnnnny!!! It is depressing!
Rosie: I'm coughing, I am coughing!!
Me: Oh... ok then!"
* A conversation with Dad:
"Me: Daddy! my house is sooo messy, sooo dirty! Don't tell mama, but it is a dump.
Dad: well, your house is a mess even when you spend hours cleaning it... I can just imagine what it looks like now...
Me: Hmmm = ( "
* A conversation with Mar:
Me: Something is wrong with this week...
Me: Most of my friends are depressed, I don't know why!
Him: Because you are leaving next week"
I want to marry a Palestinian, because I want my kids to have the Palestinian identity, I want to raise them 100% Palestinian. I want them to stand up for her, call for her, bleed for her, and cry for her. I want them to know that they come from a country that is suffering from being raped onetime after another. I want them to raise their voices and state that they are Palestinians. Obviously, no one knows what the future holds, but I would prefer for them to grow up knowing that their father is from there, their ancestors are from there. I want them to be as passionate about it as I am. I want them to be more active as well. I want to raise them to be able to recite both narratives -Arab and Israeli- by the age of 10. I want them to be able to shut any Zionist up by the age of 12. I want to instill in them the need to fight for her, even if they never saw her, touched her, saw her moon or smelled her beaches.
I guess I want to do all that because I feel that it is the least we could do for her. We should insist on Palestinian nationalism being engraved in our children, even if they reject it at first, only because if we do not, she will be forgotten. She will have no one to look out for her, to feel for her, or to scream for her. In time, people will forget that she needs someone to hold her up high, that she needs to lean on someone to stay upright. People will forget how much she has bled, how hard she fought to hold on, how badly hurt she was. In time, she will be lost, and that could never happen. We have to keep fighting for her, we have to struggle for her, and it is our duty to raise generations that will do that.
Golda Meir once said "The old will die and the young will forget". My reply to Meir? Go screw yourself. The bond we have with the land, even though most of us have never even seen a glimpse of it, is one that travels by blood. It will never fade away, it will not be easily forgotten. History has taught us that!!!
Friday, January 19, 2007
Let us get a few things straight here... I am not against marriage. However, I am against waiting around for Mr. Right to show up. Secondly, I am still young, i am only 22. having said that, I am not against having a serious relationship with a potential someone. I am done with dating around. I am done with stupidities. If i am with someone, then I am with that person. Plus, I need someone who, after learning about my insecurities, knowing my history, realizing what and where I am going in life, will still be there. He will not judge me on anything, he will not think any less of me. Basically, I need someone to love and respect me just the way I am. I also do not want or need someone in my life whose main mission is to change me, for the better or worst.
Haaaaaaaaaa.....Looks like I need to make a list... here it goes (in no particular order):
1) Love and respect me the way i am. I am loud, crazy most of the time, very sarcastic, sensitive -even though I put on a very tough exterior-, I have the random-est and weirdest thoughts at the oddest times. Oh, and let us not forget my verbal diarrhea problem.. God knows just how much trouble I got myself into... or just how many arguments. I just can not keep my mouth shut. On the brighter side though... when I do open my big mouth, a good argument comes out... not necessarily a good statement or comment though... Meh...
2) accept me with the good, the bad and the ugly. I am friendly and outgoing, but I also have my evil and dark side. I am also insomniac, moody and could go into depression. He has to accept all that and work with me on all of them; not run the other way.
3) understand me. That, I admit, would be a tough one. I do not easily open up to people, I need alone time every once in a while, I am passionate about people, places and things. he has to understand how easily attached I get to people, subjects that fascinate me, places, ideas... etc. He has to bear with me.
4) show me he cares. Obviously... and it doesn't have to be a major love declaration. Just taking 2 minutes out of his hectic day to call me and ask me about me, and actually listen to my answer.
I am easy to satisfy, honestly, just so long as I know it comes from the heart.
5) loves life. He simply has to be active, he has to be adventurous. I am hyperactive at most times, i love to go out sightseeing, discover new places, meet new people. I want to go skydiving, paragliding, flying over the big fan thing - i don't know what it is called-, water skiing... etc. He doesn't have to want to do these things, but he has to want to do other things, and who knows, maybe I will go with him. Point is, he has to be able to do something crazy/weird/spontaneous every once in a while.
6) Charming and charismatic with a good sense of humour. Well... this one is obvious too. Who wants a bore who is a total outcast?!! He has to get along with people, he has to make me proud to be linked to him when he walks into a room!
7) be willing to move to live in the same country as my parents. Yes, I know... I have never mentioned this before, but if I am to start a family, I want my parents around me. So, he has to be what they want... a Palestinian! hahahahahahahahaha, yet another requirement!
8) be comfortable to be with. I have to feel like I can be me around him. no sugar coatings or frosting. Just pure and simple me, with my stupid or ingenious moments. AND he has to embrace them all.
9) trustworthy. I have to be able to trust him with my deepest, darkest secrets, fears and thoughts....
10) patient. i am hard to live with. I have too many walls built around me, and he has to take his time and take them down one at a time.
11) Smart/intelligent... Umm.. who wants a dumb-ass?!
12) Ok, the superficial stuff, because, who isnt? Tall, dark and handsome, kind eyes, glasses, strong hands and a killer smile.
That is it. I do not need wealth or fame. I just need someone I could count on to be there when I need him, as I will be when he ever needs me.
If someone with these characteristics shows up right now, I will not be opposed to him or the idea of marriage... It will have to be a long engagement though, seeing as I am only 22 and need sometime to settle down and figure out where I am headed, as I am sure he will need it too!
So, until I find someone who is interested, and fulfills these criteria... I would rather be single, thank you very much!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I am tired, very sleepy, but refuse to fall asleep. This sucks. My brain went into complete shutdown just half an hour ago, my friends were talking, and I was sitting there and could not keep up with anything at all!!!!
Also, note to self, I do not want to have any more Mexican food. It is tooo heavy, and you end up smelling like a walking fajita. Not exactly good.
One more thing, my stupid neighbour is playing the piano. S/he sucks.... when will they figure that out and just give up?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
To be honest here, I do no t even know if i believe that the exercises we did make a difference in the outcome. They were like, sit still for a good 5 min, keeping your palms open, then open your eyes and move your hands. Apparently, you should feel a tingling in your palms or a cold or warm breeze on them. Ummm... hello? If you sit in one position for a while and then move, it is only natural to feel something different when you move since your blood starts circulating a different way! I do not know... I might also be wrong, I am very untrusting when it comes to these things...
C is coming back soon, which means I am leaving soon. T -14 baby... T -14.
Oh right! I never told you about my interview!!! Well, to make it short, it went well, they will contact me soon, but the pay sucks.... actually, it is more pathetic. Let us just say that IF I get it and IF I decide to go, daddy has to pay for my accommodation, my board, my transportation, my spending, my everything.... What a wonderful thing to look forward to, study 4 years, graduate, try to get a job only to find out that daddy still has to take care of you. Depressssssssssing. AND this comes at a time in life when I decided I wanted to become independent, to grow up........ yeah, right! At the rate things are going, I doubt that would happen anytime soon.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
The above pictures are from a Turkish teahouse called "Art & The", located on Bishop just above De maisonneueve.
The one on the left is Dragon Pearls tea, while the one on the right is Rose and Jasmine tea.
Girls, this is what awaits you in the washrooms!!!
This is amaaaaazing. It is painted on the wall in 3D.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I was thinking today, 17 days and that is it. I will take one last look at my room, one last glance at my door, lock it and walk away knowing that I will not be returning to it any more. Knowing that that is it... no more. The end. I will never wake up to see my flag hanging from the wall first thing in the morning, I will never have people randomly dropping by and screaming at me for never locking my door. I will never... so many things. Why is it that the leaving here is so much harder than the actual coming here? When i came here I was 17. It was the first time I ever leave to live on my own to be my own person. I left a life of luxury and came to live here, where you are responsible of doing everything all by yourself. You have to pay the rent, the bills, clean the house, do the laundry, cook -or at least make sure you eat- and so on. I had never even seen what a bank statement looked like until I came here. I remember my mom sitting me down and explaining to me how to write out a cheque. Cheques??!!!! I thought everything worked with plastics and plastics only. I remember looking at my mother as though she was crazy, as though I thought it impossible to spend money in any way other than either cash or credit cards. I remember my first bill... I called up dad and asked him where the hell was I expected to pay it. I remember my first mail... it was a bank statement that I never opened... Why should I, I thought? I know I have money... looking back, these past 4 years have been an adventure I would never trade for anything. These past 4 years made me the person I am today. I may not be perfect, I may not be affectionate, may come off as too strong or independent, but I am me and that is what counts.
I not only learnt how to pay bills or what a convenience cheque books are, but I also learnt a lot about my heritage, about my Palestine. I am more proud than ever to be Palestinian. I was proud before, but living in an Arabic country, you are kind of disconnected from all of this. My parents did try their best to get me involved in the whole issue, but I was too self-involved at the time. i went to the shows just to see the performance, never listened to the speeches or the poetry. I went to the dinners for the socializing opportunities, never for the reason they were held. Looking back, I am a little ashamed of the way I was. I should have been more active, I should have done my research, I should have gone out of my way... but I did not. Living here changed everything. i had to do my own research, I had to find my own passion and had to follow my own road.
Ayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Montreal... I have so much to thank you for. I am going to miss you like no other.
Could someone answer this for me?
IF the Palestinian-Israeli talks ever go through, and they agree that the Palestinian state should have the 1967 boarders, where does that leave me, a person who is from the 1948 boarders? What happens to my right of return and where do I return to?
Friday, January 12, 2007
i woke up this morning not necessarily better than when I fell asleep, but also, not much worse. This is good, at least i am constant... Let us wait and see what this day shall bring me, shall we?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
"But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest." - Buddha
Me will miss them...
Wow... I never even heard of this. Funny, no?
I went into the "office" and found one of my friends sitting next to him. Nothing I can do, right? So anyways, I go to sit with my friend, who had to go get some food, and thus, left me there... alllll alone. So the weirdo looks up at me and says "I hate you".
Weirdo: I hate you
Me: Umm... why?
Weirdo: Because you have such a nice smile that has the power to fix anything wrong. You could get away with murder with that smile of yours.
Me: Umm... thanks for the compliment, I think. So who did I just murder?
Weirdo: Oh, it is just a figure of speech (like I did NOT know that!!! ugh!). No worries though, if you ever go to jail, I will send you chicken
Weirdo: Chicken... I'll send you chicken.
Me: Thanks... but uhhh... I wont go to jail, because as you said, thanks to my smile I could get away with murder. Plus, I do not eat chicken
Weirdo starts analyzing why chicken is not good for me, I get bored and say "you could send me fish"
Weirdo smiles, another friend walks in, I ignore him and that is that.
So, my question to the world is the following: WHY do I only attract the weirdos?????
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Hold on you might say, me, with the UN? What kind of mix is that, right? Well, let me tell you why i am so ecstatic about this whole thing. To begin with, I have never had a real job, meaning i have ZERO job experiences. So, naturally, I feel like my CV sucks and that no one will ever want to employ me. Therefore, to me, this is a sign from God. It shows that I do have something to offer to a potential employer, that i am on the right track, and that maybe, i will be able to work in something related to all the politics i have been studying so far. The other reason i am so excited is because this is a part of the UN, and although I do not agree with the means used to acquire the ends, this is a great place to start. If I get this, I am set for life. There is not a single organization that would not hire me. Everyone thinks that the UN is God in politics, so it is a great opportunity.
Me happy about this... i have not been this happy for the longest time. I think the last time i was just as happy was the day i got accepted to Concordia over 4 years ago. That is a looooooooooong time of unhappiness...
Today was a good day, chilled with friends and enjoyed their company. I am going to miss them like crazy... but this is life, and life has to go on. Btw, if I have kids, they will only dream of going somewhere this far to study. It is too hard to move here and then harder still to move back. Saying goodbye to people who have influenced the person you have become is the most depressing thing ever. So, i will save them all this heartbreak and keep them somewhere close to home.
Of course, I can always just let them go... leave the nest forever and make sure it is still there for when they do want to fly back of their own accord.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Well, this has been happening to me on a frequent basis nowadays. I have become so absent minded it is ridiculous. I keep forgetting to call people, forgetting to show up to appointments etc.... It is scaring me a little, to be honest. I mean, yes, I am and always have been a little forgetful, but not to this extent.
Another thing that is bothering me is my stupid shift key. It keeps rejecting me!!!!!! It refuses to work properly... very upsetting.
I am bored... I already miss my kitchen even though everything is still there, only in boxes. I am going to miss my house so much. Actually, I am going to miss many things. Whenever I think about the time I have left, I get a mini panic attack where I no longer am able to breath. Everything in my chest contracts, my heart stops beating and I can no longer breath. Scary shit...
Friday, January 5, 2007
Today made me realize something... the friends I have now, whether old or new, really are a treasure. They have kind hearts and love to have fun and relax. I am going to miss them all so much....
Btw, seeing as we are in January, and this is Montreal, I thought I should take a pic of todays' temperature just so that i have proof when I say that today was a hot day:
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
* to be strong
* to lighten up
* to trust people more often
* to take life lightly
* the world is not a fair and just place
* life DOES go on
* not all those we like like us back
* not all those who like us are capable of showing us
* it doesn't matter if you know someone for an hour, or a lifetime, as long as you know the real them, chances are you will become good friends
* at some point, we have to grow up
* Even though I am breaking down from the inside, I have to keep a calm face on the outside.
Things I accomplished:
* I graduated with a Poli Sci major
* I created a blog where i can jot down anything and everything I feel (this one)
* I made sure to tell my friends how much they mean to me as often as I remembered (heheehe)
Things I need to do:
* Get reaquainted with living with the parents again
* Look for a job
* stop digging my grave, stop complicating my life and tying all those strings
* Find and get involved with a Palestinian humanitarian organization.
So, after this list that could go on forever, I STILL am not any wiser.... oh well, maybe 2007 will be a better year.
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.