Tuesday, December 11, 2007

On being forgiven

I am not one to believe in signs, but I have been having these weird dreams lately. Some of them I was letting go, some i was finally being let go, and most recently, I was given another chance. I believe that the most recent dream I had was a message from God telling me that he has forgiven me for anything I might have done in the past and that now, I have been given a chance to start over. It makes sense, no? I mean, here I am, living a life so different than the one I led only 10 months back. I will describe my dream below:

I was at some outdoor party or something, there was this colleague of mine- Reem- who I am no longer in touch with. I was asking her why she was at that party when she should be at her usual volleyball practices and she said she had quit the team. Suddenly, the sky turned pinkish/red and everyone started pointing up, smiling, rejoicing and saying "it is a sign, baby prophet is passing over us and this white line in the sky is his pathway, just like God said he would one day". I looked up and there was a white line, and there was a carriage like thing -I'm not sure- and horses, white horses, and stars and something glittery and it just looked so pretty. I started praising God, and then, although I knew it was a miracle, something was still trying to dissuade me. I no longer wanted to go to the party, I wanted to go home only to realize that I am stuck. I had no car and it was rush hour, if I were to take a cab it would take me min one hour to get home, that is when I woke up.

I think it is a sign because ever since then and I have had this serene, calm feeling that I haven't had for a long time now. It is like I started fresh, new... like I should no longer worry about the past and concentrate on the future.... like i have been reborn.

Weird, eh?

Monday, December 10, 2007

Something to keep in mind...

Life is short, so be sure to:

Break the rules,

Forgive quickly,

Kiss slowly,

Love truly,

Laugh uncontrollably,

Dance freely,

And never regret anything that made you smile.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Random quotes...

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
- Robert McCloskey

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
- Michel de Montaigne

All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
- James Thurber

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
- Henry Adams

This is the way of peace: "Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love." - Peace Pilgrim

Is repetitive action virtuous action? If behaviour and conduct are merely repetitive processes then all human relationships actually cease. If I behave mechanically every day, - repeating a certain code of conduct which I have learnt, which I find profitable, or which is pleasant, repeating that over and over again, - my relationship with you ceases, completely - I have become a machine.
- J. Krishnamurti

What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.
- Margot Asquith

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
- Philip K. Dick

...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the truth.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

All the lessons of history in four sentences:
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad with power.
The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small.
The bee fertilizes the flower it robs.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
- Charles A. Beard

and I am back...

Looks like I missed writing in this blog more than I thought I would. I've beenfighting the urge to come back for some time now, but looks like it got the best of me. So, to catch everyone real quick on my life progress:

- got a job, loved the job, disliked the boss, didn't get along with the boss and now, je suis unemployed once again.

- My bday was good. I spent it at the spa with my friend Nan, then we went to the beach and got drunk. Lastly, we went out for a late lunch with Rana. It was nice.

- umm... I'm 23 now??

That is it... oh, well, Montreal peeeps will be here soon, so YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

I'm back...


Tuesday, June 26, 2007



"Meen Irhabi"/"Who is the Terrorsit?" by Dam:

"Born Here" by Dam:

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Useless trivia and one quote

* Wilhelm Berghoff was the first person to die in an aircraft accident.

* There are more species of poisonous plants in the world than nonpoisonous
(Scary, eh?)

* Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
- Thomas Szasz

Monday, June 18, 2007


Happy graduation day...

yeah, right!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Tsk, tsk... the shame!

I am really upset about the civil war that errupted between Hamas and Fatah in Palestine. Like it is not enough that they are being targetted and killed by Israel, they have to do it to themselves. What I do not understand is this: Why do they not unite, defeat the occupation, get their land back, and THEN fight over the power that they do not presently have???

This is too depressing... too shameful...

Friday, June 8, 2007

Random life updates

* We celebrated my nephew's second bday today, it was a surprise party and he and my other nephew seemed to enjoy it. It is funny how children grow onto you and how you wake up one day to realize that you actually enjoy having them over.

* Life here is getting to me. I need friends, I need a life, I need something more than what it is at the moment. Sometimes I even feel as though I need oxygen... Having all this free time to think about life, how it went and where it is heading is not going great with me either. It is driving me MAD.

* Still unemplyed but its mostly because I cant be bothered to actively look for a job. I sometimes feel I've become too weak to handle the real world. This year has not been kind to me so far and I just do not want to give it any chances to screw with me anymore.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Mon bebe turns one month

My baby, my love, my car... turns one month today.


Me pathetic, I am aware of that, and yet, I do not care!!!!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Hariri Court

mmm... after 800+ days of the Hariri assassination in Lebanon, the Security Council voted for the tribunal to take place. The votes were as follows:

10 countries voted for
0 countries voted against
5 countries abstained -Qatar included.

Makes you think, eh?

I will probably philosophize and dissect this later on, I am just too brain dead for now. For all those people who have been waiting for this voting outcome, congrats, for those of you who have lost, well, c'est la vie...


Tuesday, May 29, 2007


My degree is conferred. I am officially cleared for my graduation convocation!!!


Sunday, May 27, 2007

Did you ever?

Did you ever get the feeling that you need to obsess over something, otherwise, your life might not have much of a meaning???

It is weird trying to explain it, but I feel like that is what is happening to me now.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Garfield today:

59 years...

... it has been, and yet, here we are fighting for what is rightfully ours. Today marks the 59th anniversary of the Palestinian "nakbeh" or exodus. Today 59 years ago, millions of us became refugees, stateless, with nothing but a hope and a memory -for a few some- to cling on to. We were driven out of our homes, lands and towns. We were stripped of our dignity and of our identity.

Yet, here we are, struggling, fighting, refusing, objecting against what has happened to us.

We will win eventually, we shall return one day.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Yet another one for the books...

Anyone get the feeling that we are trying to outdo everyone else by the way we go around things in this country. i remember when they backed the world's longest or biggest cake a few years back. I remember the tallest skyscraper in the middle east- whose record was broken shortly afterwards-, I remember the world's first 7 star hotel (Burj Al-Arab) which has been demoted to a 6star now, I remember another 7-star hotel (Emirates Palace)... and now? Hahaha... now, they have an auction selling "special license plate numbers". Know what is officially the most expensive number in the world? I'll tell you. It is the number 5. Yes, darlings. It is 5. Know how much it was sold for? I'll tell you... it went for 25.2 million Durhams. Let me do the math for you and tell you what its equivalent to:

25,200,000.00 AED


6,861,063.46 USD

25,200,000.00 AED


7,616,809.605 CAD

25,200,000.00 AED


5,072,692.967 EUR

I understand it is for a good cause and all... but seriously!!!! Isn't it better to just give the money anonymously, or drop it off without getting a number that would give you instant preferential treatment because it is automatically assumed that you are a VIP??

If you would like to read the details of the event, click here


I have been meaning to blog for a few days now, but I have been busy lately. Busy... sounds funny considering what I have been busy doing is nothing really. Just hanging out, doing nothing productive whatsoever.

Today is my sisters' b-day, so happy bday sis. Or, as here son would say "happy booboo". All the best, love you loads =)


A few days ago I went into Paris Gallery, it is a gallery that sells perfumes, make-up and designer accessorize. What hit me was the power of smell to bring back so many memories. Just smelling different perfumes took me back to so many different times in life, different places and different people. It is funny how we associate moments with smell...

I am going back to Montreal for graduation in June. I really am ecstatic about that. I can not wait. I think that June can not come too soon. Montreal, get ready, "I be coming soon!"

Turns out, I am allergic to the sun, humidity and heat of this country. Can you believe it? I was born and raised here for 17 years, I leave for 4.5 years, come back and find out that my skin can not handle it anymore. I feel like such a freak! I am banned from direct sunlight for at least another 2 weeks, banned from staying in the sun too long, and have to apply 3 different kinds of lotions and ointments. Worse part? It is not even proper summer here yet. Fun times lie ahead. Fun.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Problem solved!

For those of you who have slept over at my house, or have seen me trying to fall asleep, you would have noticed that prior to falling asleep I have to rock myself back and forth. I finally found that it is not an extremelly strange thing, although it appears in children more than adults. If you are interested, you could read more about it here.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

My horoscope for today...

Your key planet Pluto receives a gentle tug from sweet Venus today, reminding you that good things must end. Pluto represents the elimination of toxic waste, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes it's challenging to accept that something valuable has served its purpose. You must have the courage to take your trash out to the cosmic recycling bin. The more you hold on to what you don't need, the greater the struggle. Focus on the potential and not the loss.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
more from tarot.com »

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

My daddy rocks!

I got my new car, and I am in love with it. It is everything I have ever wanted in a car. I would hug it if I could, but I can not. If I attempt to explain just how much I love this car, I would never do my feelings enough justice.

My dad kicks-ass!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

When politics and free men collide...

I think it is extremely sad and pathetic when being worried of government interference in ones' blog leads the blogger to shut it down. This is exactly what happened to the Egyptian Sandmonkey and to many other bloggers. If we can not speak our minds, share our thoughts and express our feelings about what is happening in the world, something that affects each and every one of us one way or the other, then what does that make us? Free as long as we never go against our governments?

Sad... very, very sad.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

May they rest in peace...

Ever since the Virginia Tech massacre happened and I've been meaning to blog about it. However, whenever I sit myself to do that, I am taken back to the day the very same thing happened at Dawson college in Montreal. I remember crossing the road, walking into my building and then suddenly being pushed by some lunatic woman who was screaming at me not to go out again. Yes, I admit she wasn't a lunatic, only someone who had just heard a gunshot, knew it was a gunshot, and wanting to protect the people around her. I went up to my buildings' terrace, and for almost an hour, I was dumbstruck with what i saw taking place right in front of my eyes. The cops where there, the ambulance, people you could hear screams, you could see people running, cops trying to surround the place, media choppers flying about, TV cameras everywhere... I swear, if I did not know any better, that could have been a scene from a movie. Yet, it wasn't. That day, a young man decided to go into Dawson and shoot people. Last week, the same thing happened in another part in North America. It happened a few years back at Columbine, at the Amish school, in Montreal at the Polytechnic, and it will happen again.

The question is: Why? What gives any man, woman or teenager a right to walk into a place of education, hold up a gun, and shoot someone? More importantly, what drives that person to do it? What anger, grief, hostility, shattered dreams and hope lies within them?

Another thought that crossed my mind is, who are the real victims here? Are they only the students/teachers/staff/visitors at the colleges and schools, or are they the shooters themselves? Who should we blame? The media, society, parents, teachers, fellow students, movies, games, reality?

One last thought I had is that even on the land that prises itself on being democratic and free, even on a land that prises itself for being acceptable of all societies, this savage act of killing takes place. What is sad is that people there do not realize that this happens in countries at war all the time. it happens in Palestine, Darfur, Uganda, Afghanistan, Iraq... and the list could go on for so much longer. Is it not time for the world to decide that saving younger generations is more important than some silly power struggle? Is it not time to stop manufacturing and selling weapons. Is it not about time to set a good example for this generation, the next one and all the others to come?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Make it stop!!!!

1) They are everywhere... asking, nagging, pushing, deciding, interfering...

2) I can't shake "it" off... I can't move on, I can't leave it behind. I am stuck.

3) I just want this nightmare to end... I am going mad... mad I tell you!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ooooops, that is not right...

hahahahahahahahhaa, I LOVE the internet. It does not fail to find a way to entertain me. I just stumbled across this article where they actually put the picture of Sheikh Maktoum as one of the Guantanamo prisoners. Later on, ofcourse, the same newspaper apologized. Still funny though...

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Coz apparently, that is the ONLY thing on my mind...

Scorpio for today, Saturday, April 14, 2007:

"This is familiar territory, yet today you might be inclined to push through the issues once and for all, so you don't have to be here again next year. You could have love in a form that you don't want or you want love in a form that you cannot get. Either way, the dissatisfaction will ease by Friday without any action on your part."

What about life in general? What about the future? What about the past and the present???
Stupid horoscope people...


Friday, April 13, 2007


Know what is funny? I have so many things to blog about but I can't. I either can't think of something, or i can and I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't know... things change, or remain the same, and you find yourself stuck in the middle of it all. Ever had that feeling?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Happy anniversary

One year has passed since i was rushed into emergency gull bladder surgery. Funny how time flies...

Thank you Clau, Liza and Liza's parents for holding my hand through it. Much love

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Grey's Anatomy

I got one of my good friends, Umen, addicted to Grey's Anatomy.

My work on earth is complete

Monday, April 9, 2007

Check out the link

Thank you BBC, this was very informative... NOT!

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Saturday, April 7, 2007

News tidbits...

Ok, so I get why NYC is promoting circumcision. What I do not get, is how they conducted those tests to see whether circumcision really does reduce the risk of HIV. Any theories?

Another thing I do not get is why, after ALL the warnings we get concerning global warming, people do not listen and still think it is a joke. It is going to get worse. Brace yourselves. Check it out here.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Faithless: Insomnia

deep in the bosom of the gentle night,
Is where i search for the light,
Pick up my pen and start to write,
I struggle a fight,
Dark forces in the clear moonlight without fear,

I can't get no sleep.

I used to worry,
Thought i was going mad in a hurry,
Getting stressed, making excess
Mess in darkness. no electricity,
Something's all over me, greasy.
Insomnia please release me,
And let me dream of making mad love to my girl on the heath,
Tearing off tights with my teeth.
But there's no release, no peace,
I toss and turn without cease.
Like a curse,
I open my eyes and rise like yeast.

At least,
A couple of weeks since i last slept.
Kept taking sleepers,
But now i keep myself pepped
Deeper still,
The night, i write by candle light,
I find in sight
Fundamental movement.

So when it's black
This insomniac
Take an original tack
Keep the beast in my nature under ceaseless attack.
I gets no sleep.

I can't get no sleep.

** you could check out the video on youtube here

Thursday, April 5, 2007

The end?

Well, the mirage is no longer there. It has completely disappeared and has been replaced with nothing but... nothing. That is what it as been replaced with. A hollow and deep nothingness. You know, all those thoughts and images I had? Well, turns out, all those are nothing now. Nothing.



nothing...zero... vacuum...

Quote of the day

Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity. - Christopher Morley

Wednesday, April 4, 2007


You know when you start the day and you have this feeling that it is all wrong? The way you wake up, the way you look, the way you are seen, the way you look at things, everything, and I mean everything, is wrong. Well, today is that day. It is wrong.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

yaaaaaaay stem-cell research!!!

They are growing heart tissue from stem cells here. I think it is great what technology could help us attain.

I also read something about changing blood types to O so that everyone is a universal donor. Amaaaazing.


Monday, April 2, 2007

I am drained,

tired, fed up, unhappy and confused. I also hate my period, have I ever mentioned that before? It turns me into this walking hormone-machine. It sucks.

I just watched episodes 1-17 of season 3 of Grey's Anatomy. Very dramatic, wonder what else they have in order for them to create a season 4. Seems to me that anything that could ever happen, has already happened. Unless, of course, the chief turns gay or something because his wife doesn't want him, his mistress died, and the "ladies" don't look his way. Something to look forward to knowing, I guess.

I went to a poetry reading by Mahmoud Darwish tonight. It wasn't as good as I expected it to be. He also presented himself as someone who is full of it, so I did not like him. Too bad, he has great poems.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Another thing I hate...

... how people you cut out of your life keep finding a way back in, and INDIRECTLY too.

So annoying.


Saturday, March 31, 2007


It makes me emotional, sensitive, actually care about what other people think and say, and it takes me on a rollercoaster ride that is just exhausting. It was easier when I lived all alone and had the option of shutting the world out when I needed to.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

movies watched lately...

Well, my dear friends, I have been catching up and watching old movies. So far, i have watched:
* Three men and a baby
* Analyze This
* Kiss of the Dragon
* Ghost Rider
* Because I said so
* You got served
* Crash
* Someone Like you
* Harry Potter (all)
* South Park
* You've got mail
* 2 Weeks notice (Anyone has it? I cant find it, I had to download it)
* and about 15 other movies that I do not remember their names.
I have also been watching Ugly betty and some grey's anatomy... um... what else? Oh yeah! Cold case and CSI... plenty of both. also friends, how i met your mother, according to Jim, scrubs...

yup, empty life, I have too much time on my hands and I can not be bothered to actually put it to good use.

miss you

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Giving into reality...

I sat down today for a good 2 hours looking at and applying to jobs. i guess this means that i have finally lost all hope and that i am giving into the idea of living in this dump. Sad, sad reality...

Rosie, HI!!!!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Not in a mood...

... to blog.

I need to sort out my thoughts first... I'll be back to blog soon.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Tarot Me..

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Friday, March 16, 2007




Btw, I just told my dad I smoke. He asked, I answered.

Simple and easy. Wait till my mom finds out. She is the drama queen of the family.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Today's horoscope

Daily horoscope for Scorpio from tarot.com:

Something in your life is about to change for the better, but you have to participate in the process. You can unconsciously hold on to the way things were, for what you know seems less frightening than what you don't know. Ultimately, Scorpio is the sign of transformation. You have the power, so don't hold back; let the magic happen.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Monday, March 12, 2007

Pink martini's "Sympathique"

je ne veus pas travailler (i dont want to work)
je ne veus pas déjeuner (i dont want to have lunch)
je veux seulement l'oublier (I just want to forget )
et puis je fume (then..I smoke)

Ruru was right, I did like the song...

Oh,l and my translation could be right, or wrong... it is what i got out of it..

Domestic Towel Dilemma...

Ok, so this is really annoying. Whenever i step into the washroom, wash my hands and turn to use the towel to dry them, I do not find the towel there! My sister decides to use it to dry her hair everyday when she takes a shower, her son's nanny decides to use the one i hang afterwards to dry his bum after washing it. Yesterday, I went through 3 towels. This is really annoying seeing as there is a basket-full of towels right outside the washrooms door and all she has to do is make a switch! Of course, late at night, I walk into the washroom and I start laughing like an idiot because, surprise surprise, there was no towel.

My sister found it funny... and naturally, she would, since its her that is causing the whole towel dilemma here.

Oh, and today, as i was driving to the gym, i hear a funny sound coming from my car, so I do a U-turn, take a right and drive into a parking lot. all this time i am thinking "does my car have a life of its own? I feel as though it is going without me and I have no control over it". So, anyways, I park the car, step out, walk to the right, look down and what do I find? My tire has been punctured!!!!! to make things worse, I was in the only area that does not have cabs frequently bothering you....

What a wonderful life!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

On nothingness...

Nothing to do, nowhere to go to, no one to talk to...

And people ask me why I am not leaping with joy for being here.


Saturday, March 10, 2007

So true

"What the eye does not admire, the heart does not desire"

Friday, March 9, 2007

His and Her Diary...


Sunday night I thought he was acting weird We had made plans to meet at a restaurant to have dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment . Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing ." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry . On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V.; he seemed distant and absent . Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he got up and went to sleep on the sofa ..... I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep . started crying and cried until I too fell asleep . I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else My life is a disaster


Today, we lost the football match

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Credit fraud update

Seriously, my bank is amazing. They have already debited my account for the stolen money, cancelled my old account AND I just received my new card via UPS and activated it.


Friday, March 2, 2007

The bad seeds make a return...

Seriously... why would anyone in their right mind think that after cutting them off for a week or so, i would want to chill with them this week????

What is wrong with people in this part of the world?

My current favourite song..

It also happens to be the song that made me fall in love with DJ Tiesto sometime towards the end of last year. There is something magical about the way the voice and the music are mixed together to compliment each other.


Wednesday, February 28, 2007

On credit fraud...

I am the victim of fraud! Someone stole my credit card number and info and used it to buy gas from Esso and to pay for parking in Cote Des Neiges! Imagine my surprise when I logged into my account to find that I paid for all these thing, given that:
a) I am not there
b) I don't even have a car
c) I do not know anyone in Cote Des Neiges, so what would I be doing there?

Anyways, I called RBC credit card people, and I must say, I was very impressed with them. They stopped my card directly, treated me like a victim, not someone under suspicion, and even offered to send me my new card ALL the way here.

Me like this service. If only everyone treats everyone else that way...

Oh, btw, point of my post is this: BE CAREFUL with your credit cards. DO NOT use them online, and be careful overall.


Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Lost somewhere...

I'm feeling lonely... Montreal seems like lifetimes away. I feel like it is this part of my life that is still going on without me. I do not know if that makes sense at all. I just feel like I'm no longer there, but I am also not really here... like I am lost in space. I find it hard to believe that this day last month, I left Montreal. Actually, this time last month, I was having breakfast at eggspectations with my friends, counting down the hours, minutes and seconds before I had to say goodbye to a life I loved, a city I adored, and friends I treasured.

So, it has been a month since I last saw my friends, I miss them. All of them. Even the ones that I did not hang out with very often, even the ones I lost touch with... All of them. My life feels so empty right now.

=( =( =(

Monday, February 26, 2007

Hellllooo wireless

I FINALLY got wireless at home. It is a whole new level of freedom.


Monday, February 19, 2007

A girlie post

I went to the Salon yesterday to do my nails and wax my arms. Now, although I have wonderfully smooth arms, I GET COLD ALL THE TIME!!!!!!


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Ruru Left?!!


Ruru left!!!! Me incredibly sad, yet happy for her. She would have rotted here, just like I am. Plus, she promised to come back in 6 months.. 6 months people!!!!!


Me will miss her.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Settling in...

I finally bought myself speakers and a subwoofer system for my room. I finally feel like I have something to look forward to in this house.


Saturday, February 10, 2007


I am enjoying my time here, but at various times of the day, and when the day ends, I realize I am not happy. I seriously do not want to be here.


Friday, February 9, 2007

My horoscope for today...

The Scorpio Moon draws you into familiar realms of mystery and intrigue; however, it's easy today to involve someone else in your little drama. In fact, you could turn things around quickly as a bad mood transforms into a delightful emotional or physical encounter. The key is your willingness to let go of the past.
Friday, February 9, 2007
more from tarot.com »

Scary thought...

Although it has only been two weeks, Montreal is already feeling like a lifetime away. It feels so much longer since I walked down its streets, took the metro, saw my friends, had my daily "london fog" and so on.

This is seriously freaking me out.

Thursday, February 8, 2007


i have been hanging out in Dubai for the past few days. So far, it has been cool, and for only one reason. My friend Ru is here, she is leaving to go back to Montreal on the 18th, but this catching up quality time is fun! We went to the zoo, yes, the zoo. We also went to a beach/park. Had breakfast and lunch at various coffee shops, and overall, just chilled and caught up on old times. Another old friend from Montreal is working here, Abbas, but i still did not see him. i think I am meeting up with him tomorrow. I also met up with an old friend who I have only seen once in my life, and our friendship has been purely digital for 7 years or so. So, at the moment, i am enjoying my time here.

What will happen when Ru leaves? I do not know, I am sure it will suck, but at least I'll have her return to look forward to. So, here is to that!

Monday, February 5, 2007

My Moo cards are here!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! My Moo cards are FINALLY here! They are so cool, they ROCK!

Get them from here

Job interview update

NOT happening! Not in a million years!!! How am I supposed to work for someone who thinks that some positions are better designed for males? Or that not being conservative = not wearing a headscarf?!!!

Retarded ass!

A New Life...

I have a job interview today. It is a company that has a contract with the governement to overlook the taxi privatization here, in AD. Wish me luck!!!

The UN still has not got ten back to me, which is really pissing me off at the moment. My sister says it is normal, but I do not know... it is still getting to me.

i went to the F1 show a few days ago, it was fun. I'll upload the pics and videos sometime soon.

I miss everyone back in Montreal... it is so boring here. C'est la vie...

Friday, February 2, 2007


I am bored. I miss my friends, my routine, my old life...

This sucks. I want to go back. Now.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

What do you do...

... when the bubble you have created around you, the one so exclusive and so private, is popped and reality begins to creep in?

... when you miss someone so much, you just can not get them off your mind?

... when you realize that this is all there is, and there is nothing you could do about it?

... when you realize there is no escape from it all afterall?

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Rambling from the land of the sand...

Well, this is my first post from the land of the sand. I landed a few days ago, and I must say, so far so good. It is weird being here, and what is weirder is the fact that this time, I am not leaving to go back. Every time that thought hits me, it scares me. So what next? Well, I think I have some growing up to do. I have been doing nothing but spoiling myself since I got here. I went to the spa for some much needed pampering. The massage has to wait though, it will be the reward of withstanding pain next week -girls, you know what I am talking about. The weather is lovely... I feel light when we go out.. what? no jacket?!!!

I miss everyone back there... I miss being able to wake up at 3 am, or not sleep whichever, and be able to call someone. I also miss someone calling me at that time. I get bored this time of night... it is a very lonely time. Thank God for blogger, right?! It is 4:40 am here, making it the day I should have left initially.

My thoughts are all jumbled, I do not know what I want to blog about exactly. Should I write about missing my friends? The M&M's that I will probably never enjoy eating again? Missing my bed and apartment? Missing "the Office"?

Naaaah... I think those are all given. I might as well just stop rambling now and blog again when I have a proper thought to discuss... I feel my thoughts are all over the place.

Miss you all so very much... You will always be in my heart.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The end has come...

... and so, I left. I packed up my bags -4 in total- and am on my way back to what I once referred to as home. I have the worlds' greatest friends. They chilled with me every day and night for a whole week, trying to cram as much quality time as we can in such short notice, although they have school and everything. I am sure they must be exhausted by now... especially clau and L since they hung out with me mostly at nights, and I am insomniac....

I am disappointed that I did not get to spend much time with one of my Friends, Mar... like, OK, so he is moving, studying and working... I AM LEAVING!!!!! I did see him before i left, so tht is good, bas ya3ni...I need to vent to him about it to get it off my chest, so maybe I'll send him an email soon...

Back to my amazing friends, i am going to miss them like crazy. It just hit me that I will not see them tomorrow, or the day after.. or the day after that. However, they will always be a part of my heart and the memories i have of them will always be dear to me. Plus, technology makes it much easier to keep in touch nowadays, right? So it would take serious energy to lose touch with someone....

Love you all loads... you are the best. I will miss you all like crazy, but I will hold on to the hope that i will see you again one day.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Bent by Matchbox 20

If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
If I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk
If I need some of your love again
Give me more than I can stand
When my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again
Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will live
With you and me bent

If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just falling
Just breaking the skin

Start bending me
It's never enough
'Til I feel all your pieces
Start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
Shouldn't be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Just touch me again

Without understanding
Hell, I'll go there again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Yeah, you're breaking me in
And this is how we will live
With you and me bent

On being rejected... twice!

Even British Airways is rejecting me!!!!! Ok... so maybe it is my second rejection today, but still... I wont talk about the first rejection, only because frankly, I don't have the time or energy for it anymore.

They are going on strike from Jan. 29th till Jan 31st -the day I leave. They say on their website:

"We understand that some of our customers who are due to travel between January 29 and February 16 may wish to change their plans now. As a result, we have, from today, introduced a policy that enables customers to rebook flights for a different date. Customers should call British Airways if they wish to change their travel plans."

Seriously! Like I need to worry about yet ANOTHER thing...

Another thing, what is up with the lady that gabs away while you wait for the agent to pick up? i heard you the first 500 times, chances are, i know what you have to say by heart now, so SHUT UP!

so far, Jan 21st has proved a sucky day... and its only 5:20 pm.

Still no sleep, in case anyone is wondering. Hopefully, me will crash today...

** Update **

I am leaving in 5 days... on the 27th, not on the 31st anymore....

Sunday, January 21, 2007

On not being able to sleep and other random sh*t...

It is past 6 am and I still can't sleep......

Actually, I feel like I can't do so many things anymore... I am seriously drained. I no longer have the energy.



One side will make you larger; the other side will make you smaller.
- Lewis Carrol

So true...


Scorpio today:

"If you have been overly stressed recently by trying to resolve the conflict between your head and your heart, now the tensions will finally begin to dissipate. Oddly enough, no concrete action on your part is required. Something subtle is shifting on its own, giving you a glimpse of the smoother sailing ahead."

Basically, give in and go with the flow? Screw the flow, I say. Plus, I gave up and gave in a looong time ago. Not worth fighting for or against anything and everything anymore. Go with the flow it is then, I suppose. Time to seriously stop fighting the strong winds and tides and allow them to carry me wherever they please...


C will arrive tomorrow... can't wait... I miss her. Then I will have one more person i will have to say goodbye to.

Double crap.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Bits and pieces of random conversations

* An earlier MSN conversation with my friend C:

"H€åv€n£¥ Thïng΀ -> OMG 1 more day... says:
yes i did... y do we always want things to last forever?

Me: Ay-ya-ya-yaaaaaay says:
because it is easier to hold on to what you already are accustomed to"

* A conversation with my friend Rosie:
" Her: did you pack?

Me: not yet, it's haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!!! No one is understanding that!!!

Her: hahahahah

Me: Rosie, it is not funnnnny!!! It is depressing!

Rosie: I'm coughing, I am coughing!!

Me: Oh... ok then!"

* A conversation with Dad:

"Me: Daddy! my house is sooo messy, sooo dirty! Don't tell mama, but it is a dump.

Dad: well, your house is a mess even when you spend hours cleaning it... I can just imagine what it looks like now...

Me: Hmmm = ( "

* A conversation with Mar:

Me: Something is wrong with this week...

Him: Why?

Me: Most of my friends are depressed, I don't know why!

Him: Because you are leaving next week"


On Palestinian nationalism...

My friend Mimi asked me last night what is it with Palestinians only wanting to marry Palestinians? She argued that my father is Palestinian, and yet he married a Lebanese... so why am I so insistent on my guy being Palestinian. As I was explaining to her, I realized that t all has to do with nationalism.

I want to marry a Palestinian, because I want my kids to have the Palestinian identity, I want to raise them 100% Palestinian. I want them to stand up for her, call for her, bleed for her, and cry for her. I want them to know that they come from a country that is suffering from being raped onetime after another. I want them to raise their voices and state that they are Palestinians. Obviously, no one knows what the future holds, but I would prefer for them to grow up knowing that their father is from there, their ancestors are from there. I want them to be as passionate about it as I am. I want them to be more active as well. I want to raise them to be able to recite both narratives -Arab and Israeli- by the age of 10. I want them to be able to shut any Zionist up by the age of 12. I want to instill in them the need to fight for her, even if they never saw her, touched her, saw her moon or smelled her beaches.

I guess I want to do all that because I feel that it is the least we could do for her. We should insist on Palestinian nationalism being engraved in our children, even if they reject it at first, only because if we do not, she will be forgotten. She will have no one to look out for her, to feel for her, or to scream for her. In time, people will forget that she needs someone to hold her up high, that she needs to lean on someone to stay upright. People will forget how much she has bled, how hard she fought to hold on, how badly hurt she was. In time, she will be lost, and that could never happen. We have to keep fighting for her, we have to struggle for her, and it is our duty to raise generations that will do that.

Golda Meir once said "The old will die and the young will forget". My reply to Meir? Go screw yourself. The bond we have with the land, even though most of us have never even seen a glimpse of it, is one that travels by blood. It will never fade away, it will not be easily forgotten. History has taught us that!!!

Friday, January 19, 2007

On marriage and stuff...

I spoke to my aunt today, and she was the 100th person to tell me "so, you graduated? Well, 3i2bal il 3arees" (May the husband come next). Like, I studied for four years of my life, and the second that is over, people think they have the right to tell me that.

Let us get a few things straight here... I am not against marriage. However, I am against waiting around for Mr. Right to show up. Secondly, I am still young, i am only 22. having said that, I am not against having a serious relationship with a potential someone. I am done with dating around. I am done with stupidities. If i am with someone, then I am with that person. Plus, I need someone who, after learning about my insecurities, knowing my history, realizing what and where I am going in life, will still be there. He will not judge me on anything, he will not think any less of me. Basically, I need someone to love and respect me just the way I am. I also do not want or need someone in my life whose main mission is to change me, for the better or worst.

Haaaaaaaaaa.....Looks like I need to make a list... here it goes (in no particular order):

1) Love and respect me the way i am. I am loud, crazy most of the time, very sarcastic, sensitive -even though I put on a very tough exterior-, I have the random-est and weirdest thoughts at the oddest times. Oh, and let us not forget my verbal diarrhea problem.. God knows just how much trouble I got myself into... or just how many arguments. I just can not keep my mouth shut. On the brighter side though... when I do open my big mouth, a good argument comes out... not necessarily a good statement or comment though... Meh...

2) accept me with the good, the bad and the ugly. I am friendly and outgoing, but I also have my evil and dark side. I am also insomniac, moody and could go into depression. He has to accept all that and work with me on all of them; not run the other way.

3) understand me. That, I admit, would be a tough one. I do not easily open up to people, I need alone time every once in a while, I am passionate about people, places and things. he has to understand how easily attached I get to people, subjects that fascinate me, places, ideas... etc. He has to bear with me.

4) show me he cares. Obviously... and it doesn't have to be a major love declaration. Just taking 2 minutes out of his hectic day to call me and ask me about me, and actually listen to my answer.
I am easy to satisfy, honestly, just so long as I know it comes from the heart.

5) loves life. He simply has to be active, he has to be adventurous. I am hyperactive at most times, i love to go out sightseeing, discover new places, meet new people. I want to go skydiving, paragliding, flying over the big fan thing - i don't know what it is called-, water skiing... etc. He doesn't have to want to do these things, but he has to want to do other things, and who knows, maybe I will go with him. Point is, he has to be able to do something crazy/weird/spontaneous every once in a while.

6) Charming and charismatic with a good sense of humour. Well... this one is obvious too. Who wants a bore who is a total outcast?!! He has to get along with people, he has to make me proud to be linked to him when he walks into a room!

7) be willing to move to live in the same country as my parents. Yes, I know... I have never mentioned this before, but if I am to start a family, I want my parents around me. So, he has to be what they want... a Palestinian! hahahahahahahahaha, yet another requirement!

8) be comfortable to be with. I have to feel like I can be me around him. no sugar coatings or frosting. Just pure and simple me, with my stupid or ingenious moments. AND he has to embrace them all.

9) trustworthy. I have to be able to trust him with my deepest, darkest secrets, fears and thoughts....

10) patient. i am hard to live with. I have too many walls built around me, and he has to take his time and take them down one at a time.

11) Smart/intelligent... Umm.. who wants a dumb-ass?!

12) Ok, the superficial stuff, because, who isnt? Tall, dark and handsome, kind eyes, glasses, strong hands and a killer smile.

That is it. I do not need wealth or fame. I just need someone I could count on to be there when I need him, as I will be when he ever needs me.

If someone with these characteristics shows up right now, I will not be opposed to him or the idea of marriage... It will have to be a long engagement though, seeing as I am only 22 and need sometime to settle down and figure out where I am headed, as I am sure he will need it too!

So, until I find someone who is interested, and fulfills these criteria... I would rather be single, thank you very much!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

I feel like whining.... Again!

Yes, yes, I know... I whine a whole lot in this blog. However, that is why it was created, for me to ramble on and on when I don't find someone to listen, or when I just don't have the energy to call someone.

I am tired, very sleepy, but refuse to fall asleep. This sucks. My brain went into complete shutdown just half an hour ago, my friends were talking, and I was sitting there and could not keep up with anything at all!!!!

Also, note to self, I do not want to have any more Mexican food. It is tooo heavy, and you end up smelling like a walking fajita. Not exactly good.

One more thing, my stupid neighbour is playing the piano. S/he sucks.... when will they figure that out and just give up?


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Bad morning?!

At LEAST I would not have to worry about this happening where I am going... for now, at least...

Ok, geek moment: notice how I started and finished the sentence with "at least"? How scandalous!

On meditation... and other things..

I finally went meditation today. It was a Sahaja-Yoga style meditation. I must admit, after an hour and a half of no cell ringing nonstop, no music, no talking, basically no technology to interrupt, I did feel a little calm. At one point however, all that quietness was getting to me, and I was feeling suffocated, but that is normal I suppose. I also found out that i am right-sided, meaning that the so many thoughts that keep racing through my mind are what are keeping my "Kundalini" and my Chakra from opening.

To be honest here, I do no t even know if i believe that the exercises we did make a difference in the outcome. They were like, sit still for a good 5 min, keeping your palms open, then open your eyes and move your hands. Apparently, you should feel a tingling in your palms or a cold or warm breeze on them. Ummm... hello? If you sit in one position for a while and then move, it is only natural to feel something different when you move since your blood starts circulating a different way! I do not know... I might also be wrong, I am very untrusting when it comes to these things...


C is coming back soon, which means I am leaving soon. T -14 baby... T -14.


Oh right! I never told you about my interview!!! Well, to make it short, it went well, they will contact me soon, but the pay sucks.... actually, it is more pathetic. Let us just say that IF I get it and IF I decide to go, daddy has to pay for my accommodation, my board, my transportation, my spending, my everything.... What a wonderful thing to look forward to, study 4 years, graduate, try to get a job only to find out that daddy still has to take care of you. Depressssssssssing. AND this comes at a time in life when I decided I wanted to become independent, to grow up........ yeah, right! At the rate things are going, I doubt that would happen anytime soon.


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Death due to water intoxication?

Then they blame it on the Wii consule?!! Check out this really weird article.

Wtf? Me confused....

misc. Montreal

The pictures below are from Old Montreal in and in front of Notre Dame.

The above pictures are from a Turkish teahouse called "Art & The", located on Bishop just above De maisonneueve.

The one on the left is Dragon Pearls tea, while the one on the right is Rose and Jasmine tea.

Girls, this is what awaits you in the washrooms!!!

This is amaaaaazing. It is painted on the wall in 3D.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Late night ramblings...

A total stranger hugged me today, only because I moved closer to hear what her friend was telling me about some stupid drunk girls that were running around in the middle of the street. She hugged me... like a full hug. There i was, standing on the footsteps leading up to second cup, with my friends inside, and this random person hugs me... and it was nice. Why can't people just be spontaneous, do what they want, when they want. I asked her why she hugged me and her reply? "you are friendly, as simple as that". A complete stranger saying I am friendly... I am going to miss Montreal, with its random people, its hippies, its activists, its weirdos, its bums, its sunshines, its rains, its snows... I am going to miss all that so much.


I was thinking today, 17 days and that is it. I will take one last look at my room, one last glance at my door, lock it and walk away knowing that I will not be returning to it any more. Knowing that that is it... no more. The end. I will never wake up to see my flag hanging from the wall first thing in the morning, I will never have people randomly dropping by and screaming at me for never locking my door. I will never... so many things. Why is it that the leaving here is so much harder than the actual coming here? When i came here I was 17. It was the first time I ever leave to live on my own to be my own person. I left a life of luxury and came to live here, where you are responsible of doing everything all by yourself. You have to pay the rent, the bills, clean the house, do the laundry, cook -or at least make sure you eat- and so on. I had never even seen what a bank statement looked like until I came here. I remember my mom sitting me down and explaining to me how to write out a cheque. Cheques??!!!! I thought everything worked with plastics and plastics only. I remember looking at my mother as though she was crazy, as though I thought it impossible to spend money in any way other than either cash or credit cards. I remember my first bill... I called up dad and asked him where the hell was I expected to pay it. I remember my first mail... it was a bank statement that I never opened... Why should I, I thought? I know I have money... looking back, these past 4 years have been an adventure I would never trade for anything. These past 4 years made me the person I am today. I may not be perfect, I may not be affectionate, may come off as too strong or independent, but I am me and that is what counts.

I not only learnt how to pay bills or what a convenience cheque books are, but I also learnt a lot about my heritage, about my Palestine. I am more proud than ever to be Palestinian. I was proud before, but living in an Arabic country, you are kind of disconnected from all of this. My parents did try their best to get me involved in the whole issue, but I was too self-involved at the time. i went to the shows just to see the performance, never listened to the speeches or the poetry. I went to the dinners for the socializing opportunities, never for the reason they were held. Looking back, I am a little ashamed of the way I was. I should have been more active, I should have done my research, I should have gone out of my way... but I did not. Living here changed everything. i had to do my own research, I had to find my own passion and had to follow my own road.

Ayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Montreal... I have so much to thank you for. I am going to miss you like no other.


Could someone answer this for me?

IF the Palestinian-Israeli talks ever go through, and they agree that the Palestinian state should have the 1967 boarders, where does that leave me, a person who is from the 1948 boarders? What happens to my right of return and where do I return to?

Friday, January 12, 2007

Crash and Burn...

Yesterday was a shocker. Within 20 seconds, everything I have every thought came tumbling down. Thoughts and feelings alike, crumbled into tiny, little, atomic-sized pieces. It was horrible. It was a slap on the face. I felt used and lead on... above all else, I felt that my intelligence has really been abandoning me recently, that mu hunch is always right...I felt like crying to begin with, but then, the logical part of me convinced me that it is no good crying over spilled milk. Life sucks, this is life and life goes on it said. I chose to believe it and tried to sleep.

i woke up this morning not necessarily better than when I fell asleep, but also, not much worse. This is good, at least i am constant... Let us wait and see what this day shall bring me, shall we?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

It is better to be alone than in bad company...

... and Buddha agrees:

"But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest." - Buddha

T-20 already?

Crap. Time is flying by so fast, it is scaring the hell out of me. Every time I think of how close I am to actually leaving this place, I feel a sadness that is greater than any I have every felt. I know I have said this before, but I am going to miss my friends like crazy. It will be weird not calling them up something like 10 times a day, it will be weird to not just bump into them on the streets or in the "office", and weirder still, to not be able to see them on a daily basis. I have gotten so used and attached to them, it is ridiculous.

Me will miss them...

Gullible info of the day

"Scientists at Texas A & M University who accidentally genetically engineered a flying chicken in 2005, were required by the department of agriculture to destroy the experiment notes and had to destroy the chick, as well."

Wow... I never even heard of this. Funny, no?

from gullibleinfo.com

Remember the ass?

Remember the ass from my posts here and here ? Well, I saw him again today, and AGAIN, he makes a smart ass remark. This is what happened:

I went into the "office" and found one of my friends sitting next to him. Nothing I can do, right? So anyways, I go to sit with my friend, who had to go get some food, and thus, left me there... alllll alone. So the weirdo looks up at me and says "I hate you".
Me: What?
Weirdo: I hate you
Me: Umm... why?
Weirdo: Because you have such a nice smile that has the power to fix anything wrong. You could get away with murder with that smile of yours.
Me: Umm... thanks for the compliment, I think. So who did I just murder?
Weirdo: Oh, it is just a figure of speech (like I did NOT know that!!! ugh!). No worries though, if you ever go to jail, I will send you chicken
Me: What?
Weirdo: Chicken... I'll send you chicken.
Me: Thanks... but uhhh... I wont go to jail, because as you said, thanks to my smile I could get away with murder. Plus, I do not eat chicken
Weirdo starts analyzing why chicken is not good for me, I get bored and say "you could send me fish"
Weirdo smiles, another friend walks in, I ignore him and that is that.

So, my question to the world is the following: WHY do I only attract the weirdos?????

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

On new beginnings...

So today i woke up to find an e-mail i was not expecting in my inbox. I got an email from the United Nations University International Leadership Institute (UNU-ILI) in Jordan asking me for an interview.

Hold on you might say, me, with the UN? What kind of mix is that, right? Well, let me tell you why i am so ecstatic about this whole thing. To begin with, I have never had a real job, meaning i have ZERO job experiences. So, naturally, I feel like my CV sucks and that no one will ever want to employ me. Therefore, to me, this is a sign from God. It shows that I do have something to offer to a potential employer, that i am on the right track, and that maybe, i will be able to work in something related to all the politics i have been studying so far. The other reason i am so excited is because this is a part of the UN, and although I do not agree with the means used to acquire the ends, this is a great place to start. If I get this, I am set for life. There is not a single organization that would not hire me. Everyone thinks that the UN is God in politics, so it is a great opportunity.

Me happy about this... i have not been this happy for the longest time. I think the last time i was just as happy was the day i got accepted to Concordia over 4 years ago. That is a looooooooooong time of unhappiness...


Today was a good day, chilled with friends and enjoyed their company. I am going to miss them like crazy... but this is life, and life has to go on. Btw, if I have kids, they will only dream of going somewhere this far to study. It is too hard to move here and then harder still to move back. Saying goodbye to people who have influenced the person you have become is the most depressing thing ever. So, i will save them all this heartbreak and keep them somewhere close to home.

Of course, I can always just let them go... leave the nest forever and make sure it is still there for when they do want to fly back of their own accord.


Saturday, January 6, 2007

On writers' block...

You know when you make mental notes of a million things you want to discuss later on, but once you sit down to actually write them, you forget them?

Well, this has been happening to me on a frequent basis nowadays. I have become so absent minded it is ridiculous. I keep forgetting to call people, forgetting to show up to appointments etc.... It is scaring me a little, to be honest. I mean, yes, I am and always have been a little forgetful, but not to this extent.


Another thing that is bothering me is my stupid shift key. It keeps rejecting me!!!!!! It refuses to work properly... very upsetting.


I am bored... I already miss my kitchen even though everything is still there, only in boxes. I am going to miss my house so much. Actually, I am going to miss many things. Whenever I think about the time I have left, I get a mini panic attack where I no longer am able to breath. Everything in my chest contracts, my heart stops beating and I can no longer breath. Scary shit...


I started putting away my kitchen today. It looks very depressing with boxes and papers everywhere, open cupboards and drawers, and almost everything already in the boxes.


Friday, January 5, 2007

Montreal's magic

On bad days turning good...

Today started out as usual. I had hardly gotten any sleep the night before and was therefore in a not so good mood. I was supposed to meet up with a friend of mine at 2:30, but instead met up with her after 3:15. I was feeling very low all day, but then, something miraculous happened. I was suddenly surrounded by people I like, am comfortable with... friends. We went coffee shop-hopping for a while. Afterwards, some had to leave while one had to go to class. I waited for a few hours, and when she came back, we went to old Montreal to take a walk and some pics. I must admit, it was the best time i have had in ages. We laughed very hard at nothing and everything. I was made fun of like no tomorrow, but that is ok... at the end of the day, i know the person was kidding.

Today made me realize something... the friends I have now, whether old or new, really are a treasure. They have kind hearts and love to have fun and relax. I am going to miss them all so much....

Btw, seeing as we are in January, and this is Montreal, I thought I should take a pic of todays' temperature just so that i have proof when I say that today was a hot day:

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

The new year...

Well, it is officially the 2nd of January, making the "New" year not so new anymore. Did the year 2006 teach me anything? Well....

* to be strong
* to lighten up
* to trust people more often
* to take life lightly
* the world is not a fair and just place
* life DOES go on
* not all those we like like us back
* not all those who like us are capable of showing us
* it doesn't matter if you know someone for an hour, or a lifetime, as long as you know the real them, chances are you will become good friends
* at some point, we have to grow up
* Even though I am breaking down from the inside, I have to keep a calm face on the outside.

Things I accomplished:

* I graduated with a Poli Sci major
* I created a blog where i can jot down anything and everything I feel (this one)
* I made sure to tell my friends how much they mean to me as often as I remembered (heheehe)

Things I need to do:

* Get reaquainted with living with the parents again
* Look for a job
* stop digging my grave, stop complicating my life and tying all those strings
* Find and get involved with a Palestinian humanitarian organization.

So, after this list that could go on forever, I STILL am not any wiser.... oh well, maybe 2007 will be a better year.

A Sign??

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.

A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

Happy New year!

Let's just say last year ended amazingly and this year started out with a bang!!!


Happy New Year!