Sunday, December 6, 2009

on movies, part 2

I figured out who the 7th person he helped out is! It is the cancer
kid. He got tested to donate bone marrow to him.
I can finally rest easy now. Mystery solved.


On Movies...

Spoiler Alert!!!

I just finished watching 7 Pounds starring Will Smith. I never watched it before because I was told that
a. it was too depressing
b. it was too slow

I was in a good mood today so I thought, what the hell?!

The movie was good. Surprisingly good. I never imagined that Smith could do such a good job in a seriously dramatic movie. It WAS slow, true, but it was engaging nonetheless. What I did not like though, is that they did not really dwell on ALL 7 people he donated parts to. He donated to his brother, to the girl, to the social worker, to the blond guy, gave his house to the woman and her 2 kids... and maybe did something for that elderly woman who refused to talk. Even then, he is left with one short. Unless.... mmm, it just occurred to me. The last person he "saved" was himself. He had to give back the 7 lives he took, and by taking his life, he gave life.

It was interesting to see how this man who set out to end his life, actually gave more than organs and a second shot at life to others. It was interesting to see how he gave them hope. The hope of a better tomorrow, something they did not have before.

What is really interesting though, is how this whole story could be traced to the 7 seconds he mentioned that completely and drastically changed his life. The few seconds it took him to look don at his Blackberry and make the decision to text and drive. The director was very smart to show just how many lives can be lost and forver changed by a decision that only really takes one second of our time.

I wonder if people like that actually live in our world. I, myself, am still unsure whether I would want my organs donated upon my death or not. Sometimes I think, why not, I WILL be dead and therefore will have no use for any organs. Other times I worry that if I am not buried with all my organs intact, something somewhere in the future will go horribly wrong. May it be not being granted access to heaven, or not being able to reincarnate -I'm also not very sure about this!-, the thought sometimes freaks me out.

Oooooh, on a lighter note, I want me a jellyfish that swims in a tank inside my room!!! It is SO cool, relaxing and freaky. Jellyfish are exceptional creatures.

So yeah, I did enjoy the movie, and if after reading all the above you still think you might want to watch it, I say go ahead. Slow but great movie. The suicide scene at the end is perfection.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

On cakes...

So, IF I meet Mr. Right and I DO get married, this is the cake I want:

AND for my divorce- you never know and you should always be prepared- I want this one:

And just for the hell of it, I want this cake:

On wishes and Gods...

When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
  - Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde had it right. How many times did you wish for something, and it only happened at the time you least expected it, or least wanted it? How many times did that what you wished for occur just in time to flip your world upside down and turn it inside out? Better yet, how many times did a granted prayer really and irrevocably screw up your life?

Yes, it has happened to me so many times now, I have lost count. Sometimes, that which I prayed for was such a silly thing, but once it was granted, it was clear that its effects were seriously harmful. From getting the O'level and SAT scores I wanted, to the university I wanted, to the boy I wanted... If I got it, then chances are it never ended well...

C'est la vie, non?

Monday, November 30, 2009

I really could not agree more:

Click on this link from the Egyptian Sandmonkey's blog to ready about Gigimo!

If it is possible to fall in love with the way somebody else's mind works, then I am in LOVE!


Monday, November 23, 2009

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It has been a while...

... and no, I haven't forgotten about my blog.

Thing is, I really don't have much to blog about. I have been busy making some changes to my lifestyle, i.e. changes that actually have to do with me, me and only me. I thought it was about time I started looking out for myself and after myself. No one else will do it for me, right?

What are those changes, you might ask? Well, I am now minimizing any contact with people who will just bring negative vibes into my life. I am negative enough, and I no longer want to handle any more negativity. I am also going to the gym more often, not to get thin but to get healthy. I have cut back on my ciggie smoking and am now more active overall. At night, I turn off ALL electronics, which sadly and most importantly also includes my cell phone. The first couple of nights were rough, but now I think I sleep better because of it. No blinking lights of phone calls, or the faint pings and tings of sms's, bbm's or e-mails waking me up at all hours of the night. I have relinquished control and I am adamant on finally getting my sleep pattern to work out. I do not want to be an insomniac any more... it is draining me. I am trying a more zen-like approach to life where I will just let it be. Whatever will happen, is bound to happen and there is no use worrying about the past or the future. I can not change the past, only learn from it, and as for the future... well, there is nothing I can do about that either. I have decided to let my life unravel. I jumped on the train and now I am going to try and enjoy this ride it is taking me on. So far, its frightining, but that is a good thing, I hope.

So that is what I have been up to. I have been busy focusing on me, and I think that after 25 years of living on this earth, it is about time I do that.

= )

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Thought of the day

* * * * * * * * * *

" I forgive you for not being the person I wanted you to be. I forgive you and I set you free."
- Louise L. Hay

* * * * * * * * * * 

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

On things that make me sad...

1) Old photos. Be they for people I know or not, the older they are, the sadder and more intrigued I become. Think of all the things that happened to these few people forever frozen in time, doing whatever they might be doing. If its people I know, it saddens me to know what once was, what once could have been and what is now. It is just sad...

2) Airports. Doesn't matter whether you are crying and sniffing your goodbyes, or screaming and screeching your hellos, airports always make me sad. It is filled with contradictions. Hopeful people, happy people, sad people, depressed people, new arrivals, never coming backers, tourists, natives, healthy people, sick people, people that missed their flights, people that wish they missed their flights and so on. Airports are just depressing places no matter why you are there.

3) Old books. Especially ones I love and adore. I love the fact that they take me back through time and space and transform my surroundings into other places like magic. However, it is sad to read a new book, although comforting. It combines the feelings that i get from old photos and airports. No matter what, it is always static, stuck in a time loop, and no matter how excited you are to see it an read it again, you know that your goodbyes are just around the corner.

4) Songs. Well, certain songs, but mostly ones that I can relate to. It saddens me that a complete stranger can better describe what I am feeling at any point in time than I ever can.

5) Old notes written by people. A person's handwriting is as unique as their voice. Sometimes, all it takes is one letter and bam! you are back to square one. You can be missing them, loving them, hating them, indifferent towards them... it doesnt matter. Those feelings will come back anyway.

6) Old people who are alone. That site does more than upset me, it saddens me. Old people are so cool! It is a shame that they should ever be left by themselves. We should invest in them more. They gave up their youth for families, country or even dreams. Now it is time for someone to take care of them and befriend them.

7) A sick, homeless cat. We have loads of that here, and it is such a pitiful and sad sight.

8) Graduations. Yes, graduations depress me. Hundreds of people gather together to celebrate what they think is a huge accomplishment. What they choose not to realize is that thousands of others are doing just that. Dreams are not as easily accomplished as they think and life.... well, life is tougher than they can ever imagiine.

9) New Years' eve. Its the saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new. It is weird, but it depresses me.

10) Culture, Heritage and Society. These three often combine to produce the stupidest, most idiotic, masochistic and chauvinistic ideas, especially in the Arab society. It saddens me that in this day and age, we still can not look past tradition and culture and see things as they truly are, not as what we should see them as.

Those are the top ten off the top of my head. No reason for them, but felt like sharing.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My newest song obsession:

Lyrics to Day 'n' Nite by Kid Cudi :

[Verse 1:]
Day n nite...
I toss and turn, I keep stressin' my mind, mind.
I look for peace, but see I don't attain.
What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play.
Now look at this...
Madness the magnet keeps attracting me, me.
I try to run, but see I'm not that fast.
I think the first but surely finish last, last.

Cause day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite
He's all alone through the day n nite.
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at nite, ah ah at nite.
Day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite.
He's all alone, some things will never change.
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at nite, ah ah at nite

[Verse 2:]
Hold the phone...
The lonely stoner missed his solo doe low.
He's on the move, can't seem to shake the shake.
Within his dreams he sees the life he made.
The pain is deep...
A silent sleeper, you won't hear a peep, peep.
The girl he wants don't seem to want him too.
It seems the feelings that she had are through.

Cause day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite
He's all alone through the day n nite.
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at nite, ah ah at nite.
Day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite.
He's all alone, some things will never change.
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at nite, ah ah at nite

[Verse 3:]
Slow mo...
When the tempo slows up and creates that new, new.
He seems alive, though he is feelin blue.
The sun is shinin man he's super cool.
The lonely nites, they fade away he slips into his white Nikes.
He smokes a clip and then he's on the way,
To free his mind in search of...
To free his mind in search of...
To free his mind in search of...

Day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite
He's all alone through the day n nite.
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at nite, ah ah at nite.
Day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite.
He's all alone, some things will never change.
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night, ah ah at night.
[ Day 'n' Nite Lyrics on ]

On cuteness...

Well, as I was surfing the web today, I came across the sweetest, cutest and funniest fruit-related website ever. You really should give it a click. Fruit will never be boring again for it has a sense of humour!!!



Are they just not the cutest ever?!!

Everyone together now: Ooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

On books...

... and once again, I find myself blogging about books, or rather, their endings. I can not explain just how anxious I become when I reach the last 100- pages of a book. I start to get depressed, ill-tempered and I lose all sense of humour. I just become this angry person, and all that because when I reach the end of a book, I am overcome with dread. I want to finish the story, I want to know what happens. I want to help the characters escape/survive/celebrate/mourne etc, but I also do not want to lose their company. I guess it is just stilly, but every time I read a book, I feel as though the characters are real, they live, breathe, move, eat, sleep, and talk in my mind. I can see them clearly in my mind's eye, and I get attached to them. There really is no other word to decribe this feeling but attachement. They become friends by the time I finish reading the book, and saying goodbye to them, well, it just brings up bad memories. I hate saying goodbye to people I care about. It is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and I am not even considered an emotional person! Everyone thinks of me as toughskinned and aloof, and yet, the though of saying goodbye sometimes brings me to tears- when I am all alone, of course!

And so, back to my point, another book ends, another story is closed. It is a comfortable thought knowing that you can revisit whenever you want, yet also disturbing because you know the characters are caught in this vicious cycle that is stuck on repeat.

In case you are wondering, I just finished reading The Cloudmages Trilogy by S.L Farrell.


Friday, October 9, 2009

When did that happen?

I have become a slob.

I do not read anything other than pure fiction. I do not pick uo the newpaper or a magazine, I do not watch T.V... My only connections to the "real" world are the few people I see on a day to ay basis.


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Late night thoughts...

Sometimes I feel that I have so much to say that I am at a loss as to where I should start. Actually, that is most of the time. I think this is the main reason behind my ramblings. I tend to ramble sometimes, and I ramble the most when I am depressed or under the influence of alcohol. I do not know why, but the second a drop of alcohol touches my lips, even I am afraid of what might come out. Freaky, eh?

I also ramble when I am tired and sleepy. I had something to say when I started this post, I had a point, I promise. However, I can no longer recall it. I guess, sometimes it is better if things remain unsaid...

Ok, different point altogether, I just realized that i haven't blogged about politics in such a long time. For a few years of my life, that was my passion. I lived and breathed politics. Then I came back here and nothing is the same anymore. Even I am not the same, but you all know that already. Whenever I realize what has changed and how much that change has affected me in return, I freak out. When did the change take place and how come I never realized it'? What if I don't like it, is it easy to change back? "Change is good, but its not easy" said the monkey in the Lion King, and I guess he is right, to some degree.... Not all change is good, and some change is exactly that: easy.

End of Ramblings for tonight, I am exhausted.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Paper Models

And I thought Origami was cool.... Is this cool or what???

From Here.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

On why one should never own a parrot:

"Boredom can lead to madness in parrots. When caged by themselves and neglected for long periods of time, these intelligent, sociable birds can easily become mentally ill. Many inflict wounds upon themselves, develop strange tics, and rip out their own feathers. The birds need constant interaction, affection, and mental stimulation; some bird authorities have determined that some parrot breeds have the mental abilities of a 5-year-old human child. Should a neglected parrot go mad, there is little that can be done to restore it to normalcy. In England, there are "mental institutions" for such unfortunate creatures."

So why would anyone want that on their conscience? And for that matter, why would anyone cage a bird in teh first place? They have wings so they can fly far, far away, not to be trapped in a tiny cage learning to say "So-and-so wants a cracker" for our own entertainment!!!


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

On Lego...

Ok, I admit it... when I see some Lego pieces lying around, I can't help but rush over to put them together. That is why, I LOVE this idea: Lego Ice-cube trays. Don't the ice cubes look magnificent? Think of all the fun you can have by trying to come up with a creative sculpture before you run out of time and it melts. Amaaaaazing!

There are also other interesting and entertaining lego-shaped products such as MP3's, USB keys and so on. You can look at the full list here.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I Miss You
By: Blink 182

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Friday, September 11, 2009

On Human Behaviour

Today I found myself asking the following question:

"Why are we, as humans, so scared to show emotions, get close to someone, fall in love, move on with life and so on?"

We go through our whole lives meeting people, trying to find our soul mate(s), trying to spend as much time in the company of other, but when we meet that one person that causes butterflies to errupt in our stomach, the one person that can bring a blush to our cheeks, the only person that our hearts beat insanely fast for, we take a step back and stop. We halt the process, start to look for loopholes, excuses of why it can never work or why it will eventually fail. Why are we so bent on keeping our emotions in check that we usually end up missing out on a wonderful, wholesome experience.

So what if it fails, so what if it doesn't go according to our plans? Why is it so hard to just lay our hearts out and wear them on our sleeves? A reason could be that at a young age, we learn that disappointments hurt. They sometimes hurt you so bad and scar you so deep that you think you will never be able to recover. However, we do recover. Life goes on, the wheels keep turning and we go on breathing and go onto fighting a different battle. At a young age, we learn that the world could not care less for our grieve and it will never stop moving just to give us time to heal. It pushes us forwards, it takes us along on a ride that is both so exciting and so terrifying that we never know whether we should just get off or not. Life is tricky like that. Sometimes, you lose a friend only to find another, sometimes you lose a loved one only to realize the importance of telling them exactly how you feel towards them, sometimes, you lose everyone and everything, but find yourself in the process. Healing takes time, but it makes us who we are. Our experiences, both good and bad, happy and sad (now I'm rhyming) are what makes us unique, special and just makes us... us.

We are also so worried about being judged and misjudged that sometimes it feels as though we are living a role. Shakespeare wasn't wrong when he said
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts"
One of my high school friends used to always tell me, life is a bitch. He was right. We put all our efforts into finding that one thing that will make it all bearable that we forget about the details. We never stop to smell the flowers and enjoy the sunshine. We always take everything for granted and only realize that things were good when we no longer have them.

We should break this cycle, we should tell the people that we care about how we feel. We should take a chance on that stranger next to us, we should give each other a chance and just be grateful that we are here, willing and able to do just that. None of us know how much longer we have on this Earth, so we should make the best of it.

A friend used to say "Live fast, die young". That was exactly what he did. He lived fast, and then... he died... young. However, looking back, he lived a full life. He made plans, he accomplished his dreams, he fixed up his life, he touched the lives of many people around him and then, just like that, he was gone. Point is, he did it, all of it.

I'm trying to learn this lesson. I know it by heart now, however, I still find it hard to play by its rules. I'm going to try and take greater leaps of faith, trust people, stop being emotionally distant and suppressive. I am going to try and revel in the here and now, and let the future worry about itself. Whatever happens, I know future me will be able to handle it. Whatever happened, I know past me already handled it. I will start spreading the I Love Yous and I Miss Yous wherever and whenever they apply. I will stop analyzing everything and just act on instinct. I will try harder and I will make it.

It is true that my emotional roller coaster rarely ever gives me time off. My mood swings shift so rapidly and quickly that even I get a whip lash from them, and the way my mind works sometimes freaks the shit out of me. But, I will TRY to be the happier and stronger person I know I could be one day. I mean, the least I could do is attempt to practice what I preach.

I'll let you know how it works out.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Something to consider

I've been having a recurring thought this past week. That thought revolves around our belief in unconditional love. Does that really exist?

Some might argue that it does exist, take a child, healthy or sick, and its mother will care for it regardless. Others might say, take adopted children, their foster families took them in and provide for them plenty of love on a daily basis. Parents love their kids, kids love their parents, friends love each other, siblings love each other. However, there is always a catch. Love does not come with no strings attached.

Personally, I don't think there is such a thing as unconditional love. There is love/hate depending on the circumstances, there is prejudiced love, jealous love, old love, new love and just plain lust. Whatever form it takes, love can be anything and everything but unconditional it is not.

We love someone as long as they adhere to our norms and beliefs, if someone is different, alarm bells go off and we stand there judging. Another factor in this problem just revealed itself, the relationship between love and acceptance. An example: One of my good friends in uni was gay. However, he was in the closet because he feared what the outcome will be if his parents found out. People from the west might not see this as a major problem, but to him, an Arab guy, it was. Unconditional love would state that his parents will accept him no matter what he chooses to love or do- no pun intended. However, they wouldn't or the couldn't or they chose juts not to.

Why are humans so arrogant to think that they have any right to judge others or to think themselves better than others? We all go through life in a relatively similar pattern. Yes, some have it easier than others, but we all have to work to get or keep what we already have. We have all love and lost, we have all laughed and grieved, and we all had to face reality at one point in life.

Unconditional love means just that, loving someone other than yourself no matter what they do/say/feel/think/believe/look like. In order to love unconditionally, you have to let go, what is yours will always come back. You can not have walls built and expect someone to stay within them, as a prisoner confirming to your values. One should demolish those walls and instead, build a bridge that is easily accessible. Without that bridge, love will never be given unconditionally, nor received that way.

We humans are always looking for love and acceptance, and we know how it feels to be an outcast, yet given the chance we inflict those same standards and laws on others and expect them to adhere to them. What sad creatures we are, and what a long way we have to travel before we can honestly say that what connects us all isn't the fact that we are all humans, but more importantly it is our humanity, empathy, compassion and understanding. When that happens we will finally be able to connect freely with one another, we will be able to live in relative peace and harmony and hatred will hopefully be an emotion long forgotten. We will no longer judge differences but embrace the diversity they bring, we will not flee from that which we might to agree with, but accept that it is what it is, and that we should live and let live.

I'm tired of all the thinking that went into this so I will end it here for now.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Oh no...

Mr. Yellow is living in my building.

Ok, confession: it is not him exactly, its his clone.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My kind of intelligence

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view.

A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

On being fine

I am:



give up,

Now bottle up all those feelings, mix them together, and you will get how I feel on any given day.... The one word I use to summarize all that: Fine. I am Fine.

Monday, July 27, 2009

On..... some things...

As anyone who knows me can testify, math to me is absolute gibberish. It does not make sense to me. No matter how much I try, it never becomes any clearer, or easier.

I have struggled with math throughout my school years, and when I graduated high school, I was glad that I would never have to deal with areas, perimeters, medians, means, probabilities, percentages or anything else. I thought that my life would finally be free of that and that any math I might encounter, would be solved using a calculator. I could not have been more wrong.

For the past 2 months, I have been slaving over a math refresher book, trying to understand and grasp it so that when I started my GMAT revision, I would be ready. Turns out, I SUCK! Seriously, I feel so stupid and thick at the moment. I do not have the logic required for solving the problems. Sure, I have logic, give me any topic and I will dissect it and find all the pros and cons for it. What I do not possess, is the mathematical logic required to attach a problem and solve it.

Sometimes, I think, it is because deep down I do not want to go on and do my MBA's. I am still unsure of what I want to be when I grow up, hehehehe. Seriously, I do not know wether it is something I am truly interested in or not. I only want to do it because it is my ticket out of here. Other than that, I do not care. Do not get me wrong, I want to advance my career, and it would be nice to go into an interview and not be asked "so, why did you choose poli sci? you do know that there is no market for it here, no?". It would also be nice, i suppose, if some peope stop inorming me that my degree was a waste of time and money, and that I would have been better off not going to uni if that was the degree I would get.

Maybe it is because I am approaching the GMAT, and subsequently, the MBA's for the wrong reason.. I do not know. What I do know is that, math depresses me...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

On mythical creatures

If I could be any mythical creature, I would choose to be an Elf. Why? Well, allow me to tell you:

1) They are the fair folk.
2) They have magic on their side
3) They are immortal
4) They are intelligent and smart
5) They are strong
6) They are cordial and kind to one another, and very respectful
7) They speak the ancient language, aka Elvish, and it is lovely.
8) They are environmental y friendly and aware
9) They are vegetarians
10) They are soooo intriguing
11) They believe in the equality of the sexes
12) They do not have the same societal boundaries and constraints humans, and other races such as dwarfs, have
13) They follow their hearts
14) They are very artsy fartsy =)

My list could go on and on... but bottom line is, they really are the perfect race to be. And yes, I have given this much thought, and yes, I admit I can be a nerd sometimes...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

On.... confusion?!

Ever wanted one thing so bad, that it was the only thing on your mind for not weeks, not months, but years?

Ever made that one thing the focus of your universe and in doing so, made it a reason to continue trying?

Ever wanted something, really wanted it, so much that somehow it evolved into an inseparable part of you?

Well, what do you do when you realize that you counted on it more than you thought, and when it actually becomes within your grasp, you shrink back and find yourself refusing it?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Off for a few weeks

I'm traveling tomorrow, and therefore, this blog will not be updated for a while.

You know, the one thing I always have with me when I travel is a big book. It has to be big because I do not have the space to carry a few books, so it has to last. It has to be non-fiction, because I like to feel like I'm not just wasting the time away. Vacation time is a good time to embrace history and its reality and maybe learn from it. Also, it has to be paperback. I really do not understand the fascination with hardback book covers. They make it bulky and heavy. You can't just sit and read it anywhere. Your hands get tired and eventually, you stop.

So, after careful consideration and much deliberation, I picked Mein Kampf (Hitler's "baby"). As a poli sci graduate, I am ashamed to admit that I never read it. I was looking for a good, decent translation. I do not want to read something that does not represent it properly. So, I got one that comes highly recomended, and I plan to read it through. Hopefuly, I will finish it before I get back, but if I didn't, then that would mean that I am having way too much fun and not enough time to read. So, we will see how it goes.

As I was saying before my ADD kicked in, I will be MIA for a few weeks, so check in after July 10th for new posts.

Missing you all already.



B, Happy Birthday hun! I'll call you soon as I land.
C, I'll miss our videocalls!
Tar, wa ashra7 laha, 3an 7alati... I blame you for getting that stuck in my head
Fads, I think I finally found you a codename, you like? Honestly?
Anj, where are you and what are you doing? You went * poof * and disappeared

Saturday, June 13, 2009

On Book Endings...

You buy a book, rush home and flip to the first page. You start to read, and then, you become so engrossed in the book that you lose track of time. You no longer know whether it is day or night, nor do you even care. You read and you read, you read until you pass half of it and then, dread seeps in. You want to finish the book, you want the characters to end their stories, may it be a happy ending, or a sad one. You want to set them free. At the same time, you aren't ready to say goodbye yet. So, you read a little slower, take your time and give them theirs. Slowly, yet inevitably, you reach the last chapter. By then, the characters aren't just alive in your imagination, they are crystal clear. You can hear their voices clearly and see them dressed in all their different outfits and could even see the rooms they enter/exit and the roads they travel on.

However, no matter how slow you read, and how much you prolong it, it happens. You reach the last page, the last few words and then, you read "The End". These two words are bittersweet. You are happy that it ended for their sake, but your sad because, it is like saying goodbye to a friend. It is as hard to say goodbye to the characters as it is to say goodbye to friends. Why is that? Well, for a brief moment in time, you are allowed in to their world, you share their secrets, celebrate their triumphs and cringe at their failures. They become a part of you as you become a part of them.

I just finished reading one of the best books I have ever read. The best thing about the book is that it is many stories in one. I must admit, in the beginning, it was a little hard to get into it, but eventually, I really had a hard time putting it down. I'm really sad that it had to end. Some books you just wish would go on forever and ever. This is definitely one of those. The book is called "The Hakawati" by Rabih Alameddine. He is a Lebanese American and the book is written in English, so nothing is lost in translation. The best part of this book in particular and any book in general is when you can relate to it. Family dynamics and societal ones are similar all over the world, and so, anyone can relate to it somehow. I highly recommend it.

One of my favorite paragraphs:

" Uncle Jihad used to say that what happens is of little significance compared with the stories we tell ourselves about what happens. Events matter little, only stories of those events that affect us. My father and I may have shared numerous experiences, but, as I was constantly finding out, we rarely shared their stories; we didn't know how to listen to one another."

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Know what's the saying I hate the most? It is the one that goes "life deals everyone different cards, and it's how we play those cards that counts". I hate it, mainly because in a poker game when you are dealt cards, you always have the option to fold and try your luck the next round. However, life doesn't really work that way, now does it? We are stuck with the "cards" we are dealt, and that is the end of it.

Life, to me, is more like the saying "we are all kings and pawns". Sometimes, we are kings, we rule, we decide, we choose, we use, we... well, we are in charge basically. Other times, we are pawns. We are ruled, decisions are made for us, in a nut shell, we are ruled.

The best saying, however, is "Life is a bitch". It is obvious why that is...


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Random Things About Me:

I got this idea from E. I don't know how long this list will be... so bear with me =)

1. I've always wanted to learn how to juggle
2. My dream is to one day write a novel
3. If I am passionate about something, I become obsessed.
4. My mind works in mysterious ways. Seriously, I have the weirdest shit going through my head at all times, and I have so much random, useless info stored, it freaks me out sometimes.
5. I really enjoy my time away from people, sometimes a little too much.
6. I have a memory that is worse even than a Goldfish's one
7. I love to sing, and I do not care that a. my voice sucks, and b. i can not carry a tune
8. I used to draw, and I was pretty good at it
9. I've written enough poetry to fill a book, but I never share them with anyone
10. My imagination tends to get a little out of hand very often
11. I laugh in sad, sappy movies. The only movie that ever made me cry is: Saving Private Ryan
12. I may put on a tough exterior, but I'm pretty damn sensitive inside.
13. I am very blunt and straightforward. I also appreciate it when someone is the same with me. I do not like games.
14. I do, however, LOVE board games, card games, video games, ANY game. Sadly, no one would play speed or monopoly with me anymore. Apparently, people do not like to lose
15. I love movies and books. They are my passion. Actually, my other dream is to own a book shop...
16. I am a tech- geek. That is the reason why I do not go to places such as Jumbo electronics, Sharaf DG, Virgin Mega store, Plug Ins, Radio shack, Cell phone shops etc. If I did, I'd own every single new gadget out there.
17. I am more logical than I am emotional when it comes to certain things.
18. I'm insomniac =)
19. Although I am blunt, I hate rude people. Speak your mind if you must, but do so politely
20. I STILL can't eat M&M's regardless of what colour they are.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

The beauty of poems...

... is that they linger. There is something so reassuring about reading a loved poem. It always manages to take you back to that exact moment when you fell in love with it for the first time. It yanks you through space and time, envelops you in a bubble, and for the next few minutes nothing can touch you or ruin the moment for you. For at that precise moment, you are isolated from everything, nothing exists but your thoughts and your soul. It is an experience that one can never tire from.

Sonnet # 43
By: William Shakespear

"When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me."

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

By: W. B. Yeats

"HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

By: Rudyard Kipling

"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!"

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Click for good

Whenever you are on line, bored and have a few minutes to spare, please visit the following websites to make a donation by a simple mouse-click. Yes, isn't it grand? All you have to do, is click the banner and voila! Someone will get food, someone will get a mamogram and so on.


Link 1
(Has around 5 or 6 different causes to donate to)

Link 2
(To donate kibble to homeless dogs)

Link 3
(To donate kibble to homeless cats)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Blogger being annoying...


Seriously, I do not know where my posts decided to disappear to and get lost. I lost a previously published post and a new post I was writing.

Oh well, not like I will go through the motions of writing everything again. Whatever, I guess they weren't meant to be on blogger in the first place...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

On family...

Family, can not live without them, and at the same time, living with them is continuous struggle!!!


E, this is for you

"Live your life in happiness, even though those around you lead lives which are unhealthy, and wish to spread their illness to you. Be Happiness itself."
- Buddha

The cactus mystery... solved!

I was sent a quotation that suggests that I am not the only human to ever manage to kill a cactus plant. Granted, it took me a month, but by the end of the month, the cactus had shriveled, dried out and collapsed. It was a very pitiful sight, and one could not help but feel sorry for the plant. Needless to say, I haven't come close to any plant for over 5 years now. I've been scarred for life. And yes, I guess I too am less nurturing than a desert. On the brighter side, my cat survived a whole year with me, so there! I can take care of moving living things.

"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."
- Demetri Martin

=) =) =)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Miniature Earth

This is an interesting video mirroring the distribution of people, wealth, power, resources etc. Of course, you should keep in mind that it is based on statistics compiled in 1990, so it is just an estimation, and is therefore not an accurate portrayal of how things are today.

Still interesting though.

Check it out here.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My dream just deflated...


Some annoying scientists disproved the theory that vampires can and are, in fact, roaming amongst us.

According to them, "Assume that the first vampire appeared on January 1, 1600. At that time, according to data available at the U.S. Census website, the global population was 536,870,911. Efthimiou and Gandhi calculate that, once the Nosferatu feeding frenzy began, the entire human race would have been wiped out by June 1602 (thus forever changing the course of history by preventing the invention of the slide rule eighteen years later).

Obviously, I have no idea wat the slide rule is. Actually, I'll Google it.

So, according to wikipedia "The slide rule, also known colloquially as a slipstick,[1] is a mechanical analog computer. The slide rule is used primarily for multiplication and division, and also for "scientific" functions such as roots, logarithms and trigonometry, but does not generally perform addition or subtraction"

Umm... what does this have to do with vampires, i have no idea. However, I'm sure a scientist bent on ruining my hopes will

For the full article in question, click here.

Know what? That sucks. Why can't they just leave our fantasies alone? Seriously! They ruined my day for me. If vampires can be disproved, then that means that soon they will also find a way to disprove mutants and people with superpowers. There goes my hope for gaining one in the future. I had my hopes pinned on one where I can travel through time and space.... Hell, even one where I can manipulate my metabolism rate would be good... or even one where I can fly, or... well, you get the idea.

Btw, if ANYONE dares to suggest that my superpower should be an increase in my memory recalling abilities, I will lash out. Don't mess with me today...

=( =( =(

On Technology and people

I'm in love with the Internet. I have always been an advocate, but never have I felt as strongly as I do now. I mean, without it, keeping in touch with th people I care about would be virtually impossible. It is amazing that I can sit in the comfort of my own home, while they are in theirs, and we can have lunch together, or coffee, or just chill out together. It is a feeling second only to actually sitting across from someone- physically. So liberating, so blissful.

Ahhh, it is these little things that we usually take for granted that we should be super thankful for.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

On missing people...

Life sucks that way. It gives, and then it takes away and all you are left with is a picture, a voice, a scent and memories.

I really hope that my amnesia doesn't affect those memories. Without them, I have no idea what I will do with myself.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Curse of the Silver Phoenix...

My precious little Phoenix broke down today. Phoenix is my car, in case you are wondering. Actually, it did not break down, that would entitle some sort of action. It died. The battery died. All within 12 hours from last driving it. It just stood there, no electricity going through it, except for the weird moving of the seat. No noise when you tried to turn her on... nothing. She could have made a very pretty, but huuuuggeee, paperweight.

And so, there I stood, in the middle of the parking lot, coursing my luck and watching them perform a battery transplant on her. Believe you me, I could have cried then and there if not for the fact that in a twisted, psychotic way, I found it quiet funny. It was funny because, Phoenix is cursed. Ever since I got her from the dealership and something is wrong with her. First it was the bluetooth, then there was the flat tire, then the oil, then the various bumps and bruises she has showing on her super sexy body of metal. Oh, another point to make is the fact that she can not stay clean for over 4 hours. It either rains, a sandstorm blows, is taken to various muddy construction sites or I take her down to Dxb, the land of the dust infestation.

Te upside of all this is, she is well and running now. She is in the best form and shape.
Know what? I think I AM the problem. Think about it:

* My laptops barely survive their 2 year mark
* I've been through 3 ipods in the past 9 months alone
* My cell phones break down ALL the time. They also barely make it through to their one year mark. It's so bad that at one point, I even managed to damage the SIM card. Even my cell phone dealer refuses to sell me any phone unless he is certain that it can survive 6 months min with me.

Now, the truth is, I take care of my things. I know that after knowing the above it is hard to believe, but I do. I am so nice and sweet to my laptop, I never throw my phone around and always keep it in its cover, same with the Ipods. Only conclusion is? I repel technology. Maybe it is some kind of glitch in me that I was born with. Technology and I just do not mix...

Now that I have that off my chest, I must say:

Seriously, poor Phoenix...
= (

Saturday, May 9, 2009

It only takes a phonecall to ruin everything...

This past weekend brought up many issues that I need to think about. The main one is, my relationship with Mr. T.

Well, seeing as I do not want to go into the details here, all I will say is that he was very judgmental, harsh and to say the least, hypocritical. Honestly, the things he said brought me to tears. The main point of the whole thing was that he wanted me to be a friend, listen to him and support him, all the while not really wanting to know much about me. Basically, what he wanted is a shrink/problem solver/councilor in a friend's package. What he did not want to do, is reciprocate this gesture.

On the other hand, the evening was good. Good company, good ambiance, good drinks and a jolly good time. Too bad Mr. T decided to call and unveil his dickheadedness and shallow minded way of thinking right before I slept. Also, to make things worse, I had to wake up to a phone call from him trying to make me see his point, which I certainly do not.

So yeah, the weekend was bittersweet. However, the week is not over yet, and only God knows what is awaiting me, no?

People should always remember:

"There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it."

-Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)


To make you ponder...

Don't Stand at My Grave and Cry

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there
I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds

In circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and cry

I am not there
I did not die

Author Unknown

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Here I am...

... once again!

I didn't think i will be coming back to blogger, but it looks as though life has other plans for me. Why am I back? Well, honestly, it is the best place for me to sort out my feelings and thoughts. It is a comfy place to be, if you will.

What drove me to come back? I am not sure. Al I know is that, here I am. Maybe its nostalgia, or perhaps it is a need that I never realized I required, or it could be just that I am back for no reason whatsoever. Either way, I am back and that is what counts.

So here it goes again, may the blogging commence henceforth!