Thursday, May 6, 2010

A little of this and a little of that...

Remember that thing that had been bothering me for a while but I couldn't talk about it? Well, I will share a little, actually, I'll only share one thing since it really is more than one thing that is bothering me. The major thing is that my sister is relocating soon. She will be leaving the country and thus, leaving me. This has upset me so much because in all this continued chaos that I call me life, she is probably the only person that keeps me sane. When she leaves, I really do not know how I will manage to survive. I am not being a drama-queen, believe me, I am being completely and 100% logical and honest. I will miss her so much, and I know that once she gets on that plane, yet another part of me will shrivel up and disappear.

The other thing that has been bothering me can be described as a global phenomenon. Everyone I know is somehow unhappy, and somehow, I have become the stone-bearing mule. I usually do not mind, but when you eat, sleep and drink negativity while you are a major negative reactor yourself, it becomes a little too much to handle. We all need something good to happen, we are all waiting for a sign...
On a totally different note, I have a new project. I had this crazy, insanely weird idea today while having coffee with my friend and we decided that I should research it and see where it takes me. So, dear void, I have a paper to write. It involves so many different aspects, and I will not mention it yet as I do not want to confuse you or myself. As I said, it is only an insane idea, but as soon as I fashion something out of it, I will let you know what it is. Who knows, I might even post right here.

What else, what else? Life has been pretty much the same, it has its ups and downs and thats all I can say for it. Its been more down than up lately, and I am really getting sick of this feeling. As I've been saying over and over, I need a change, I just can't be bothered to make it happen. I need it to happen by itself. Let us see if wishful thinking will work out here...

Big, F-ing Meh!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


So far, this year has been tough on many people. Everyone was hoping tha the end of 2009 would make way for a fresh start and maybe a better year. However, this is not the case. Mostly, people are stressed. Stressed about life, about work, about the future, about the past, and the list goes on and on. Somehow, everyone also feels as though they are stuck in a box without sufficient oxygen.

All that got me thinking, is depression contagious after all? Maybe it isn't the clinically approved definition of depression, but it applies nonetheless. When you feel so low that you really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, when everyday normal activities seem to need more energy than they should, when your energy levels are so low that just getting out of bed seems to suck all the energy out of you, and finally, when you really can't breathe anymore... what else can it be but depression?

Looking around, you really feel that no one is happy. No one is "mirta7"- comfortable-, and the fight is too much to bear for anyone.

* * * *

Another thought crossed my mind when I was stuck in traffic today:
Do people go insane because there is something wrong with the chemicals in their brain, or do they drive themselves insane? Is it our thoughts that drives us insane, thoughts that chip away at your sanity so slowly that you don't realize it?

Such happy thoughts to have at this time of night, eh?

Well, I wont spread any more negativity, so I'm out.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Vanilla Twilight

My friend Fadz turned me onto this song. So cute, so sweet, although a bit on the sad side.  Also, as most of you know, anything with yellow or vanilla and I am SOLD! Pathetic, but thats the truth... I haven't been able to get it out of my head ALL day, so I though I would share. It is called Vanilla Twilight and is sung by Owl City:

from here.