Friday, September 1, 2006

When did that happen?

Although I have been forcing myself to become accustomed to the fact that I am leaving in a few months, I never thought about the minor detail: Graduation. I know, how stupid and silly. Two days ago, I went to see my Academic Advisor. She looked over my transcript, checked off the courses, made a few calculations, looked me straight in the eye and said "Congratulations, you are all set". Ofcourse, if I were a normal person, those words would have sent me through the roof. However, being the weirdo I am, all I felt was numbness for the first 10 minutes, then my heart started racing, my lungs were about to fail me, and I found myself experiencing what could be nothing other than a panic attack. Me, graduate? Me! I'm being released into this world, with what I hope is education sufficient enough. Me, graduate! Huh, when did I grow up? When did I imply that I was ready for the world out there? When did I say I was ready to come out of my cocoon? Graduate... Shit. I am graduating and can do nothing to stop it. I am getting older, which is not exactly a bad thing. Although, when I was younger, I remember wishing for Peter Pan to come and take me to Neverland. Sadly enough, somewhere inside of me that little girl is still down on her knees, wishing on that single star, for Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, Fairydust and happy thoughts. Maybe my Neverland will always remain constructed in my mind, the again, maybe not. I sometimes realize that that little girl with the impossibly silly wish is being smothered by facts and life. Afterall, we all know Pan never existed, there is no such things as fairies, thus, no fairy dust. At the end of the day, we are left with one thing: Happy thoughts. Maybe that is what will get us through life. Perhaps it is the secret to never growing up. So, I am graduating, and here I am analyzing the existence of a fictional character. At least I am happy with my analysis, no? Goodbye, Peter Pan, hello world. Goodbye Childhood, hello adulthood. I am planning on making you ROCK!

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