The countdown has begun...

Slowly slowly, the days are going by. I am trying to convince myself that it will all be alright. The countdown has finally started, my apartment will slowly be stripped bare withing the next few months. The place I have come to call "home" will go back to being just a sad, empty apartment. One day, I will step out of it knowing that this time I will not not be going back. I am currently looking around, making mental notes one what should go down first to go back with me to my parents' home, and what i should forever say goodbye to. My beloved DVD collection will go first, I am sure. They got me through many, countless gloomy days and some not bad ones as well. Next, I am taking down the only two art pieces i own and have ever owned for that matter. Slowly, my walls have to e stripped bare. The pictures, the maps, the notes, the shelves, all that has to come down. The most precious thing I will miss however, is the privacy of my own home. My parents give me privacy, they understand, but not too well. They believe that a family has to share everything. How do you share something they will never understand? How do you make them realize that what was good for them, for my siblings, for thousands of people, is just not right or good for me? How do i make them understand that maybe, they should let me go? Being the youngest, I understand their need to hold onto me for as long as they can. But what about me? They never asked me what i wanted to do, where I wanted to go after this. They just assumed that I will go back to where I came from and be happy. I am happy, here. How can I get them to realize that I no longer fit in where they want me to. I can no longer survive in the society they live in. I have dreams, believe it or not, and ambitions. I am still not clear on what they are yet, but I am sure i will figure it out sooner or later. So, slowly, I will have to say goodbye to the new family I created here- my friends. They have been there for my good times and bad. They laughed with me -and at me- and they cried with me, for me, and we sometimes cried for them. Man, those were good times, were they not? They held my hand when I had surgery and reassured me that, contrary to what I believed at the time, I will not die! Best of all, they were and are true friends. I will miss them dearly. I do not want to make new friends, I like the ones i have at the moment just fine. I do not tell them this very often, but I do not know what I would do without them. When my "darker days" kick in, they come around just to make sure I have not don't anything drastic, and I did not drop off the face of the earth. They put up with my moodiness, and hell, am I moody. I go through days at a time when i am angry at everything and nothing, i go through days where i just do not want to see anyone and I go through days where all I want to do is laugh. They are the best of the best, and maybe, one day, I will tell them that. So, I guess I have to adjust myself to the idea that goodbye will soon be in order. My current adventure is slowly and painfully coming to an end, and a new one shall begin. A new life, a job perhaps, new friends, a new home, a new location, a new society. Only time will tell if the best is truly yet to come...