Monday, October 11, 2010

On feeling... insignificant

-You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. 

Sometimes I find myself turning inwards and being sucked into one of those black holes of mine. Today, I feel so insignificant, so helpless, so.... irrelevant?

I am in an I-hate-humankind mood. I hate people. I hate politics. I hate history and most of all, I hate how the world turned its back on so many people. I am talking about the Palestinians in particular and all those other people living in poverty, famine, war, civil war etc in general. I mean, we read the news, watch shows, see pictures and for the next few min, maybe even hour or two, we are touched by what the media throws at us. Afterward, we get over it and move on. Sad part is, it is so easy to ignore and move on. We have so much shallow and meaningless things around us to focus on that we choose to ignore all the hurt and suffering around us, and focus on the inconsequential. Most of us live in a bubble, a protected one. One that looks like bubble wrap. It is cushioned, it is safe and most importantly, it is comfortable. Anything that even comes close to bursting or grazing out bubble and we freak. We fight against it, dismiss it and move on. We do not look back often enough to see what we could have done to stretch that bubble we are living under and invite others to bask in its protectiveness. When was the last time any of us asked themselves what have I done to make a change in somebody else's life today? When was the last time that we really went out of our way to lend a hand to someone who really needs it, or an ear to someone who needs a listener? When was the last time that we offered our shoulders as support for someone who needed the lift, the safety and the comfort of that shoulder?

We are all strangers, we are all suspicious of each other. We are all too busy to get to know each other. We are paranoid sheep that are always looking for someone to follow. We need to be told what to think, when to feel and how to act. We have stopped thinking for ourselves because that means we have to act, and well, who are we kidding, acting requires us to step out of our bubble and do something.

I remember when I was still in university, I thought  I could change the world. I thought that I can change the world. Then I graduated, and I started work and then, here I am, jaded. I see evil all around, and I want things to change but I don't really do anything about it. Aside from some charity donations, some volunteer work here and there, I do nothing else. I have become a sheep that follows the media waiting for it to tell me what to think, when to feel and how to act and react. I have joined the ranks of other millions of sheep out there without even noticing. I have become comfortable and have gotten used to it. Maybe the realization of this will break me out of my protective bubble, maybe it will shatter my rose-tinted windows and maybe, just maybe, it will be enough to get me off my lazy ass and do something more productive with my life. Something meaningful, something fulfilling and something that will change somebody else's world.

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Baa Baa...

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